Someone Take Me Home
by DreamoftheStars
Summary: He tasted like honey, far sweeter than she thought she would ever deserve. She was the angel that he needed and never thought he would find. Together, maybe they can fix each other's broken hearts and battered souls, for war is never kind. Previously named "For an Angel's Broken Heart."
1. Fucking Sand

_**Warnings** : Explicit Language (if you can't tell from the chapter title, OC has a sailors mouth)_

 _ **Disclaimer** : I do not own anything involving the star wars universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OC are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _ **Author's Note** : Hey it's Megan and I have had this story floating in my head honestly since the movie first came out. I also have a track record of struggling to finish stories, so if you want to see this keep going please let me know. Support from all of you really means a lot. But that is enough from me, so enjoy._

* * *

 **Chapter 1 - Fucking Sand**

The crunch of the sand underneath her feet was the only sound for miles. It was just endless desert, going in all directions around her, as she walked. She had never liked the desert. It was hot, sticky and even though she was under dozens of wraps and layers it still felt like she was being cooked alive. She was already covered with sand and she had barely even gotten to this stupid planet. It was digging into her skin, and inside her booottttsss. It would take her weeks of deep scrubbing to get the last remnants unbedded from her skin, but here, she was surrounded by it. Why did anyone live on the cursed planet?

And this cursed heat.

She hated the heat.

Mumbling under her breath, she reminded herself why she was here. She had a mission. And if she completed said mission she would get money. And money made the world go around. Money she needed.

She trudged through the sand and she turned her attention to the destroyed x-wing in front of her. She was here looking for a pilot who seemed to be wanted by everyone and anyone. She had full intention of finding him first and cashing in that nice paycheck.

The warped metal was still warm to her touch, but there was no sign of the man who had been flying it. She looked across the desert, but the wind had blown away all tracks. It was empty, endless, and provided her no information. There wasn't a soul to ask, no one to question or pay off. Nobody who had seen a thing. Nobody alive at least.

This empty place had no information to offer.

Just more sand in her boots.

She glared up at the sun, before sighing and turning her attention to the remnants of the village she had been trying so hard to ignore.

As she climbed the slight hill, she wished that the sight she saw took her breath away. It would to most. It would to normal people. Take their breath away, break their heart, make them feel sick to their stomachs. She had seen things like this so many times. So many times that she barely felt anything at all. Just a calm numbness that followed her throughout her life.

The First Order had done what it normally did. A massacre. And then they just left the bodies here to rot in the sun; men, women, children, innocents. She had always done her best to avoid the First Order, to avoid the Resistence, to avoid the War. She had avoided them all for this very reason.

No one ever mourned for the innocents, the innocents never get memorials or celebrations. They are casualties of war. They are simply forgotten, buried within sand.

And no one ever seemed to care.

She glared up at the sun, cursing the heavens, the depths, and anyone else who would listen. Also cursing her luck, because she knew the truth. That these deaths were just a few of hundreds. That no one would come looking for these people. The Force Worshippers were outcasts, they were forgotten. No one would even blink an eye.

But they did not deserve to die. And they did not deserve to be left in such a way.

She stormed into the center of the town where all of the bodies were huddled together, trying to protect themselves and their loved ones from what they knew was coming. She grabbed some discarded tools, and continued to curse the world as she did.

She cursed this heat.

She cursed the sand.

She cursed the First Order.

She cursed the Resistance.

She cursed everything and anything she could think of.

She had been told many times that she had the mouth of a sailor, and such words did not match her pretty face. She thought that was bullshit and she could curse as much as she wanted. When a man said five fucks in a seven word sentence no one would care, but the moment she did it, it was considered unlady like.

She looked across the scene in front of her and ran over what she need to do in her head.

Logically, she should wait until the sun had set, and it was cool across the desert.

Logically, she should leave and finish her job, the job she was hired for. By an old and treasured friend, no less.

Logically, she shouldn't even be here in her first place. She should have stayed out of this whole mess.

But these people in front of her? They did not deserve this. They did not deserve to be left here.

They did not deserve to die.

So she began to dig.

(Unknown amount of time later because even she lost track)

She was exhausted when she laid on the ground, watching the sky above her. She had finished it somehow, a big enough grave for the Force Worshippers to rest peacefully. She had wanted to make it deeper, but the sand was getting harder and harder to dig into. She was only one girl. She could only do so much.

Now at least the desert creatures wouldn't be able to get to them as quickly, and they were showed the respect they had deserved to have their whole lives but certainly were not given in their deaths. The wind would bury them under more and more sand, and hopefully they could be at peace.

She only didn't know what words they would have wanted to be said over their graves.

The sun was beginning to creep down from the sky, but felt as strong as ever. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes as she stared up at the Battlecruiser that towered over the planet. That towered over their whole lives. Without a warning, this weapon of destruction could send down its ion cannons and turbolasers and destroy all life on the whole planet within minutes, if it wanted to. For now, it just looked rather peaceful, a beautiful work of machinery.

If only it hadn't been used as a weapon.

If only her universe wasn't so obsessed with war.

She sat up suddenly as she watched an explosion burst across part of the Battlecruiser she had just been semi admiring. Who would be stupid enough to try to take on a Battlecruiser? Even the New Republic stayed away from them, the Rebellion had struggled enough with the Star Destroyers and these new Battlecruisers were twice as big and twice as powerful.

But sure enough, there was ship attempting to pull away from the Battlecruiser. And it looked like it was heading straight back to Jakku. Why would they go to Jakku, when the endless space was in the opposite direction. Space has endless places to hide, Jakku just had it's sand.

But that ship was screaming through space and coming towards Jakku.

Andddddd now it was crashing towards Jakku.

Idiots.

She grew bored of the sight in front of her, and started to gather up her things. She caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye, and it quickly captured her attention. The vessel wasn't just some idiot who tried to take on a Battlecruiser and failed. It was a tie-fighter. That changed everything, and she started to run back to her speeder, slipping in the sand a few times as she did.

Fucking shitty sand.

She watched as the tie-fighter continued to hurtle towards the ground. That tie-fighter had been attempting to fight the Battlecruiser, which means someone stole it. And if someone had stolen a tie-fighter and was stupid enough to head back to a planet under direct watch of the First Order, she figured it was the stubborn man she had been told about.

The man she had been looking for.

She took off in her speeder, cruising along the sand as she watched two figures eject out of the tie-fighter and it crashed. It didn't look like it had landed too far away from her current location, if she remembered the old map she had studied correctly, it had crashed into the badlands.

She sped her speeder to the max and headed towards the wreckage, leaving the force worshipers, who had hopefully been put to rest, behind her.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note** : So I hope you liked it, that's a wrap on Chapter 1. Chapter 2 will hopefully be out soon but I am going to be straight with all of you, I am pre-med and have little time and little desire to do like anything at this point. I love this story, I love star wars, and I love all of you so I will do my best, but support is a wonderful thing._

 _ **Sneak Peak Into Chapter Two**_

* * *

Everything hurt. He gasped for air, and everything hurt. Something was pulling on his arm, pulling him out of the sand, but he couldn't focus on that. Everything hurt. Soon his eyes were blinded by the sun and tried as he did he could not focus them. Lights and black splotches danced across his vision, and he turned his attention to the figure still pulling him, till he was completely free from the sand.

"Finn." He managed to gasp, but the figure just tilted it's head.

Then he was only surrounded by darkness. Peaceful darkness where he felt no pain.

Where he felt nothing.


	2. His Mission

_Warnings: Usage of explicit language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: So apparently the thing I do best is procrastinating homework, so here is the next chapter. Yah. Thank you for the support and please let me know what you think!_

* * *

 **Chapter Two - His Mission**

Everything hurt. He gasped for air, and everything hurt. Something was pulling on his arm, pulling him out of the sand, but he couldn't focus on that. Everything hurt. Soon his eyes were blinded by the sun and tried as he did he could not focus them. Lights and black splotches danced across his vision, and he turned his attention to the figure still pulling him, till he was completely free from the sand.

"Finn." He managed to gasp, but the figure just tilted it's head.

Then he was only surrounded by darkness. Peaceful darkness where he felt no pain.

Where he felt nothing.

(a few hours later)

When he woke up, Poe Dameron jolted himself forward and immediately regretted it. His hands flew to his ribs, and he could tell that they had been carefully wrapped. He quickly ran himself over. Injuries, check, pounding headache, check, alive, check. He was alive. He was alive! He started to chuckle to himself. He was somehow alive.

He started to look around him, but it took a few seconds for his eyes to completely adjust to the darkness. He was in some sort of room with machinery, but it looked old and run down. He had no idea where he was. Then his eyes settled on the figure who was leaning against the wall directly across from him. Just staring at him.

His hand immediately went to his side where he normally kept his blaster, but he was met only with empty air. He clicked his tongue and remembered how the First Order Troopers had taken it from him the day before. Or the night before. Was it still the same night, or the next night? How much time had passed? A week? A month? He couldn't tell.

His mission. Everything slowly came rushing back to him. His mission, the force worshippers, BB-8 and the map, the stormtroopers, Ben, no Kylo Ren, the escape, Finn. He chuckled to himself again. He was alive. He had managed to land, well, somewhat land, that crashing tie-fighter. He was alive, he chuckled again.

Wait. Finn!

"Finn?" He gasped, his throat screaming at him as he did. It felt sore and swollen and hurt to swallow let alone talk. He could still hear his own screams echoing in the back of his mind, but he pushed it down. Deep down.

The figure tilted his head and then slowly shook it. Poe's heart dropped. Finn was a good man. He had saved his life. But there was no time to mourn, not till after the war was won, and his universe was freed from the First Order. He needed to complete his mission.

He needed to find BB-8.

He looked at the man who was still standing on his side of the room, just watching him in silence. He was wrapped from head to toe in layers on layers of rags and had his whole face covered, and appeared to be humanoid. His position was tense, with his arms crossed. He was standing on the side closer to the door and had his bag right beside him, obviously prepared for a quick and easy escape if that was necessary.

This man knew what he was doing. Poe's big problem was if he was a friend or a foe. He needed to complete his mission, and he knew he was a very wanted man. He always needed to be on the top of his game, the tip of toes, no matter how much his head was killing him.

"Who are you?" Poe questioned, his voice gravely and painful.

The man did not respond, instead throwing him something that Poe barely managed to catch, wincing as he did. He glanced at the water sack in his hand, and watching the man carefully from across the room as he drank from it. The man was watching him just as carefully, the lack of trust obvious with the tension in the room. He was grateful for the water though, it felt amazing against his sore throat and his head stopped hurting quite as bad. He was distracted from a moment, distracted from the situation around him as the water eased his pain, but that moment was gone as quickly as the water was.

He threw the water sack back to the man who caught it neatly and tossed the now empty bottle into his bag. "Who are you?" Poe repeated, but still did not receive a response. The man simply remained staring at him, so Poe put on his famous mask.

"My name is," Poe hesitated for a split second before saying the very first name he thought of "Yolo Ziff. Thank you for helping me." Yolo Ziff? Yolo was the first name he thought of, seriously? He supposed that Yolo was the one to thank for that propaganda poster that showed everyone his face, but it got them some recruits so he couldn't complain. If he survives this and Yolo finds out about this part, he could never hear the end of it.

But the man continued to remain silent. Poe hesitated and then casually asked "Do you speak Basic?" The man nodded, so Poe returned to his signature smile. He did not like this situation, he needed to get out of here and start looking for BB-8.

The man reached into his bag and then threw another item to Poe's feet. Poe's eyes narrowed as he looked at the handcuffs that now rested beside him. That answered his question, this man was a foe. And most likely knew who he was. He really need to get out of here.

He did not move, only stared back at the man, but when the man reached down beside him and held up his blaster, Poe bit his tongue. It was just his luck that he was always getting himself into these kind of situations. Slowly Poe clipped the handcuffs onto his own arms, purposely leaving them loose enough that he would be able to escape if given the opportunity.

He glanced up at the man, who apparently not noticed the handcuffs were not on the way they should be and was gesturing for Poe to get up. The pilot obeyed and followed the man's commands to exist the door as well.

When he stepped out, the sand crunched under his heel and the sky was barely lit by the moon. He was able to make out a speeder, just a few steps ahead of him and he already had formulated a plan. The man continued to hold a gun to him watching him carefully, before turning to secure his bag to the speeder.

That is when Poe made his move, throwing his arms over the man's neck and using the handcuffs to strangle him. Poe was much larger and taller, using his strength to his advantage as the two of them stumbled backwards across the sand. Poe kicked the blaster out of the man's hand, and it bounced away, landing a little ways from the two of them.

They struggled for a few moments, and then in the blink of an eye the man was no longer there. Poe took a few steps back, struggling out of the handcuffs watching the man who was watching him. Crouched in the sand with a tilted head.

"Who are you?" Poe shouted holding his fists up in a ready position. He needed to get to that speeder, he needed to get out of here. His eyes darted to the blaster and the man's gaze followed his.

Poe made the first move, darting across the sand and scrambling in order to get to the gun first. The man didn't even bother to go after the gun, resorting to tackling him instead. The two of them rolled down one of the dunes, landing with the rag covered man straddling Poe. He threw a punch that Poe barely managed to move his head in time, but caught the next one on his jaw.

Poe retaliated, attempting to grab onto any hold he could, but the man darted out of the way, allowing Poe the freedom to stand up again.

Both scrambled to their feet, sinking slightly in the sand. The man seemed to be slipping with almost every step he took, and Poe gritted his teeth. Especially since he wasn't doing any better. He could tell that this man was trained in martial arts, much more than he was at least. He did not stand a chance and there was nowhere to run too.

He could hear the blood rushing through his ears and could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He began to smile. Even if his chances were slim, he lived for moments like this. He lived for the adrenaline. He only felt alive when he was almost near death.

The man lunged at Poe again and the two of them tussled, sinking into the sand with almost every step that they took. Poe was bigger and stronger, but the other man was faster, and was certainly landing much more blows that Poe was.

The two quickly fell back into the position they had been in before, prepared and watching each other.

This time Poe moved first, tackling the man only hesitating when something seemed off. A struggle ensued, Poe pushing down on the man who was thrashing underneath him desperate to get out of Poe's grip. Poe barely managed to hold on, but was able to rip the cloth off of the figure's face.

"You're a woman?" Poe gasped, his hesitation giving the quite beautiful woman underneath him a chance to punch him straight in the head. Dazed the Pilot crumpled to his side, and the woman quickly took advantage of his confusion to push him onto his back and re handcuff him.

When Poe completely came back too, the woman was dragging him back up the sand dune they had fallen down and muttering under her breath the whole time she did. She seemed to be only slightly struggling with his body weight, and while Poe couldn't quite make out what she was saying, but it sounded like a long string of swear words.

"Who are you?" Poe demanded again, as he struggled as hard as he could against his bonds, the woman only responded by kicking sand back into his face. Coughing loudly and struggling to breathe again, Poe was all but helpless when the woman reached the top of the sand dune and managed to get him back to the speeder.

She kicked him in the gut, and walked away. When Poe scrambled back to his feet, he was met with the wrong end of her blaster and a very angry woman standing behind it. He slowly raised his tightly handcuffed hands into the air, and the woman took them and clipped them onto the back of her speeder.

When she turned to finish strapping in her bag, Poe shouted "Who are you?" growing more and more frustrated with her silence. "Answer me, goddammit, who are you and what do you want?"

She sighed and then looked back at him with a glare replying in a heavy accent. "My name is Seraphine. You are Poe Dameron and you are coming with me."

Shit.

* * *

 _Author's Note: So that's chapter two. Yah, I never really know what to say in these things, but there are author points below. Thank you for the support. In terms of the next chapter, this weekend is HALLOWWWEEEEN so I am gonna be at a ton of parties and I also have three midterms next week. So if you want another chapter soon reviews are a great way to get me to procrastinate studying._

 _Author's Points: 1) Yolo Ziff is a real character from the Star Wars Universe, so I have no copyright of him. He is a member of the Blue Squadron who flies under Poe and created the propaganda poster as a joke but it actually took off. If you remember in Force Awakens there is a character who says "Black Leader, there's a brand new hole in that oscillator. Looks like our friends got in." That is him. :)_

 _2) Basic refers to Galactic Basic which is the primary language of the Star Wars Universe. It is basically English._

 _3) The name "Seraphine" means "Fiery Angel" hence the name of the story that honestly I might change. It is currently "For an Angel's Broken Heart." Do you guys have any suggestions?_

 _Sneak Peak into Chapter Three_

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The speeder was cruising nicely across the sand, and the two of them sat in what she wished had been silence. Poe had been repeatedly asking question after question ranging from why she was doing this to what she thought of the weather, but Seraphine remained silent the whole time reeling in her own thoughts, getting angrier and angrier with herself.

This job was supposed to be a simple one, get him, drop him off, and get the money. But now he had seen her face, he knew her name, and that always over complicated things. She liked being the unknown silent lurker in the background. Last time she had stuck her neck out it turned into a major pain in the ass. Yet here she was, sticking her neck out again.

She knew better.

She knew she should be avoiding the First Order.

Should be avoiding the Resistance.

Avoiding their whole messy war.

She was such a fucking idiot.

But she owed someone more favors than anyone could ever repay in a full life time, and this was just one of them. Really she had no choice. So here she was in the middle of this mess.

What are the chances that they knew that he survived the crash? The tie-fighter had been swallowed whole by the badlands, they would assume he had died right?

Probably little fucking chance, everyone would be on red alert.

Fucking great.

She was such a fucking idiot.


	3. More Fucking Sand

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: So they just finished a manhunt looking for a guy who shot and killed a student on my campus last night, and it is crazy because the victim was a great guy and just in the wrong place at the wrong time and they were looking for the suspect for like 15 hours. (I go the the University of Utah, so that's a fun fact about me). Classes have been cancelled today for safety and respect, which means my two midterms were as well. So chapter?_

* * *

 **Chapter Three - More Fucking Sand**

The speeder was cruising nicely across the sand, and the two of them sat in what she wished had been silence. Poe had been repeatedly asking question after question ranging from why she was doing this to what she thought of the weather. Seraphine remained silent the whole time reeling in her own thoughts, getting angrier and angrier with herself.

This job was supposed to be a simple one, get him, drop him off, and get the money. But now he had seen her face, he knew her name, and that always over complicated things. She liked being the unknown silent lurker in the background. Last time she had stuck her neck out it turned into a major pain in the ass. Yet here she was, sticking her neck out again.

She knew better.

She knew she should be avoiding the First Order.

Should be avoiding the Resistance.

Avoiding their whole messy war.

She was such a fucking idiot.

But she owed someone more favors than anyone could ever repay in a full life time, and this was just one of them. Really she had no choice. So here she was in the middle of this mess.

What are the chances that they knew that he survived the crash? The tie-fighter had been swallowed whole by the badlands, they would assume he had died right?

Probably little fucking chance, everyone would be on red alert.

Fucking great.

She was such a fucking idiot.

"So where are we going, Seraphine." Why was this man talking? He never seemed to stop and she wanted to stuff her blaster down his throat.

She replied with silence.

"Seraphine, who do you work for?"

Silence.

"Come on Seraphine, if you are going to march me to my death I at least deserve an answer." He rather liked the way that her name rolled off his tongue, it seemed to flow perfectly like it was meant to be there. He also rather liked the way that she seemed to get more and more aggravated every time he repeated it.

She was not going to respond, not going to respond, not going to respond.

"Seraphineeeee."

"If I do my job right, no one is going to end up dead. But if you keep talking I will leave you behind bleeding to death in all of this fucking sand." Seraphine snapped, before revving the engine in an attempt to go faster. This piece of shit had been cheap, and all they had, and was definitely showing. If she had her way she would be back on her ship and blasting out of here by now.

"So you hate the sand, huh? I am not a big fan of it either honestly. But I am a fan of that moon, just up there looking so beautiful. I never get much of a chance to sit back and enjoy the view. Do you?" Poe continued, completely ignoring her threat.

Seraphine bit her tongue, losing her temper more and more. Normally she was able to keep her emotions and attitude out of any situation, especially jobs. This was the exact reason she avoid people, they were annoying as fuck and this man seemed to be enjoying pissing her off. Her finger itched for the trigger of her blaster. She really wanted to shoot something. Or someone.

"Aw come on, Seraphine, I thought we were just becoming friends?" Poe laughed.

"Do you have a death wish, Dameron?" Seraphine questioned, seriously questioning the sanity of this man. Most people took her threats seriously, but he seemed to be ignoring everything she said. And purposely trying to push her buttons.

"Yeah, probably." Poe admitted with the nod of his head. When Seraphine remained quiet, as she almost always did, Poe quickly ran over the situation in his head. He had no idea where he was going, but based on the compass that he managed to catch a glimpse of, they were heading north. North is something though, north he could work with. He assumed that Seraphine had a destination in mind, and once they got there he needed to break free somehow.

While she might have been smaller than him, she certainly was a lot stronger than she looked and knew what she was doing. He would have little chance beating her on a head on fight, not with the damage he had. His ribs were killing him with every breath he took, and his head felt like someone had shoved an ice pick into his brain. Which she might have done in all honestly.

If it had been the daytime, he might have been able to convince someone that he needed help, or escape into the crowd, but it was still pitch black. Depending on how long this trip of theirs took, he might not be able to escape. The stormtroopers had to be looking for him right? Maybe he should take his chances with them, he had been able to escape this time and all of the times before that. He just needed to figure out a way to get away from this bounty hunter. Or he assumed she was a bounty hunter.

Her blaster was still strapped onto her leg, and she seemed pretty insistent on paying as little attention to him as possible. He had managed to surprise her once, if he continued to annoy her, he might be able to surprise her again. Or she would gut him and leave him in the sand. 50-50?

He needed to take the chance though, he needed to find BB-8. He needed to get out of here. He turned his attention back to the women right when she broke out into a fit of coughs.

"Motherfucking, shity fucking ass sand who the fuck would live on this damn fucking planet." She hissed, once she managed to clear her throat of the sand that she had swallowed even though she had returned the rags to her face. Poe started to chuckle so she continued, "What the fuck is so fucking funny, Dameron."

"Nothing, nothing." He laughed, trying not to cough himself as sand got thrown into his face when she made a sharp turn. He almost went tumbling off his seat, having really nothing to hold onto, and swore himself.

She snickered and did it again, before halting to a sudden stop. "You're a madwomen." Poe gasped, as she jumped off, leaving him to struggle to reposition himself. "Where are we?"

Did he really think she was stupid enough to answer that question? Anyone with even the littlest experience with collecting people know that they are always trying to escape. Half of her wanted to tell him who her client was, but that probably wouldn't end well either. He wouldn't believe her and she had to protect her client no matter what.

She walked towards the edge of the dune she had stopped on and looked down at the town below them. Even though it was still night, the first signs of the sun were creeping over the horizon. The residents of the town were beginning to move, only a few, but even just a few was to many. She clicked her tongue and then started to remove the layers she had been using in an attempt to protect her from the sand.

"What are you doing?" Poe called at her, and she simply walked back to the speeder to hand him the layers of layers of clothe.

"Put it on." She ordered, before turning back to her bag.

"Why?" Poe questioned looking at the scraps in his hands.

Seraphine sighed and looked at him. "You are a wanted man, Poe Dameron, and people know your face. If someone recognizes you, they will tell the stormtroopers that are probably searching for you. If the stormtroopers find you that will turn into a problem. For me. And I don't like problems. So put them on."

While the two of them were watching each other, the sun creeped over the horizon and shined light on her face, allowing him to really see her for the first time. If Poe Dameron had met her in literally any other situation he would be doing his best to woo her, but right now he was just lost in those light blue eyes. She seemed way to perfect. Way to perfect to be in a place like this.

"Dameron!"

"Yeah, what?" Poe questioned, shaking his head. What had he been thinking, there was a time and a place and this certainly wasn't it. But there was just something about her eyes. It was almost like he couldn't look away.

"Put on the clothe, so we both don't get killed." Seraphine snapped holding her hands out confused about what the hold up was. The man seemed to be in a different place.

"Uh huh." Poe replied, looking down at the clothe again before holding up his handcuffed hands. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that."

Seraphine groaned and was muttering something under her breath, Poe assumed it was a long chain of swear words since that seemed to be her standard, and held up her blaster. Poe watched the weapon carefully, she seemed like not intending to make the same mistake twice, as she carefully undid his handcuffs and then stepped back keeping her weapon trained on him.

Poe's brain was running through all his options while he slowly wrapped his face in the clothes she had provided when the light from the rising sun allowed him to catch a glimpse of something he had not seen before.

"You're a collection agent?" He gasped and the blonde woman simply tilted her head to look at him. "The blue streaks from your cheek to your collarbone, that means you are a collection agent right?"

"So what if I am." Seraphine shrugged, still keeping her gun up.

"Collection agents work as body hunters too now?" Poe replied, finishing his wraps and looking at the woman expectantly.

She tossed him the cloth poncho she had been wearing and replied, "Collection agents collect whatever we were hired too."

"And you were hired to collect me?" Poe questioned, still glancing around looking for a way to escape as he slipped into the poncho.

"Someone's been paying attention." Seraphine sighed, clipping his handcuffs into place and taking a step back to look at the man. He looked ordinary enough, at least he hadn't been in the hideous orange jumpsuit for this mission.

"Who hired you?"

"You find out soon enough, come on we are moving now."

* * *

 _Author's Note: That is chapter three, yah? Um, I don't have much to say, just hope you all stay safe and mindless violence doesn't occur where you are. I don't live on campus anymore but the shooting happened in the dorms area and still about 5 minutes from where I live now, so yesterday was pretty terrifying for me and a ton of other students. They just caught this guy and hopefully he pays for his crimes, for both the murders he committed here and in Colorado. Stay safe in this crazy world, my loves._

 _Author's Point: Keep in mind this is the very beginning of dawn. Poe and Finn crashed presumably in the late afternoon, and I am assuming Finn walked all night based on how exhausted he was and lighting changes. So Finn hasn't actually met Rey or BB-8 yet, and if that is not accurate to the timeline of the movie just go with it bro._

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Four_

* * *

"So who hired you" Poe repeated and Seraphine sighed. She had literally just answered that question three steps ago, or rather told him that she wasn't going to answer it. She glanced back at the man as she moved the spreader down the sand dune and into the town.

"Quite now, explain later." She replied with a shrug, and Poe did not seemed pleased with her answer but fell silent anyway. Seraphine felt strange, like she was out in the open and she was missing something. She normally wasn't in this few layers of clothing, her jeans and jacket did not give her as much protection as it normally did. Well, her jacket had protective shielding, but she still felt wrong.

There was something she was missing, what was she missing? Then she heard it.

Footsteps.

Perfectly in rhythm, marching together, fucking footsteps.

She had known something was wrong before she could have really processed it. "Shit." She aggressively pushed Poe into one of the side ways, and grabbed his arm as she started to run, leaving the piece of shit speeder behind them in the dust.

"What the hell, Seraphine, what's going on?"

"Stormtroopers."

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.


	4. Running

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: So I registered for my classes next semester today and apparently I hate myself because they are literally ALL science classes and AHHHHHHHHHH. I'm gonna die. But procrastination is the thing I do best and I just want this semester to be over, soooooooo chapter? Also I know this is a veryyyyyyyy slow burn story, but I promise it is rated M for much more than just Seraphine's language and dark themes. Hint of it in this chapter. Just a tad. :) *Insert Evil Laugh Here*_

* * *

 **Chapter Four** \- Running

"So who hired you" Poe repeated and Seraphine sighed. She had literally just answered that question three steps ago, or rather told him that she wasn't going to answer it. She glanced back at the man as she moved the spreader down the sand dune and into the town.

"Quite now, explain later." She replied with a shrug, and Poe did not seemed pleased with her answer but fell silent anyway. Seraphine felt strange, like she was out in the open and she was missing something. She normally wasn't in this few layers of clothing, her jeans and jacket did not give her as much protection as it normally did. Well, her jacket had protective shielding, but she still felt wrong.

There was something she was missing, what was she missing? Then she heard it.

Footsteps.

Perfectly in rhythm, marching together, fucking footsteps.

She had known something was wrong before she could have really processed it. "Shit." She aggressively pushed Poe into one of the side ways, and grabbed his arm as she started to run, leaving the piece of shit speeder behind them in the dust.

"What the hell, Seraphine, what's going on."

"Stormtroopers."

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Poe glanced around while they were running but he didn't see anyone. The town was eerily silent and empty, he only caught glimpses of people as they ran by and he didn't see anyone in white. He glanced back at the blonde before asking, "Are you sure the heat didn't get to you? How do you know that there are stormtroopers?"

Seraphine simply tapped her ear, but that wasn't much of an explanation. She could hear them? He couldn't hear anything other than their footsteps (granted he could hear his much more than hers), his pounding heartbeat, and whatever the hell was going on with his head.

"What?"

Seraphine stopped suddenly, grabbed him forcefully by the arm and pulled him down. Poe's knees hit hard on the ground, adding to the long list of injuries he had been gathering and gave the girl next to him a rather nasty look. She was crouched beside him watching as a large group of natives passed.

"How can you hear them?" Poe questioned but Seraphine just ssshhhed him. "Seraphine!"

Seraphine sighed and then lightly touched the back of his neck. Her hand was freezing, as cold as snow, an especially shocking contrast to how warm the air was becoming as the sun creeped to the sky. She pushed his head down to the ground and whispered, "listen."

Confused the pilot did just that. While Seraphine looked around them, he listened to the ground feeling like an absolute idiot. Until he heard it. "Footsteps."

"Perfectly in rhythm, marching together, fucking footsteps." Seraphine replied, repeating her inner thoughts from earlier. "Hence, Stormtroopers. Honestly, they are the only ones that are trained enough to not fuck it up."

Poe sat up and looked at the girl. "And you heard that, just while walking."

Seraphine shrugged before standing up. "I am a collection agent. Half of my job involves running. Come on."

She took off in a run again, Poe struggling to his feet and using his long strides to catch up with her. Why was he still following her? He could take any of these turns and take his chances that she wouldn't be able to find him again before he made it out of here. She had left her speeder behind when they started to run. He could make it back there, he think he knew the way.

She would know in a second that he had split off, but seemed more scared than he was of the stormtroopers. Enough to be sprinting through the city towards an unknown location. Where were they going? And who did she work for? Collection agents had to be hired, and they rarely collected bounties. Which means there was someone who had been willing enough to pay quite a bit of money to send someone to find him, but who?

If she had been focused on just him, he would stand no chance of escaping. But she was running, running away from something, or more specifically a group of someones. Would she take her chances of trying to find him, or would she cut her loses and just keep running? He could probably get away from the stormtroopers, 50-50 he could get back to that speeder. It was still early in the morning, unlikely that anyone else had taken it already.

His thoughts were reeling, but for some reason he was still following her. Why was he still following her?

He needed to get out of here, to complete his mission, to find BB-8.

And yet, even though she had kidnapped him, handcuffed him and wouldn't give him a straight answer, he felt like he could trust her. She had saved him, before all that stuff, she had saved his life. It felt like deep in his gut he knew something that his brain did not. His brain also had like 500 questions he really wanted answered.

But he needed get out of here, to complete his mission, to find BB-8.

Suddenly he got another piercing headache, worse than all the ones he had been ignoring before, he stumbled and stopped running, not being able to focus his eyes anymore. He stumbled to the side and almost collapsed to the ground, holding his head. He grabbed the clothes that were on his face, suffocating him, and pulled them down.

Everything around him was spinning and his eyes couldn't focus on anything, and everything hurt, the lights, the sounds, his heartbeat. He forced his eyes closed trying to take comfort in the darkness but it did almost nothing. His heart was pounding in his chest, but his head was screaming and felt like it was splitting in half. His own screams were echoing, throughout his head and he felt like he was going to throw up. He could feel his own sweat slowly drip down his neck and started to choke as he struggled to breathe. Struggled to feel anything, anything but pain. Struggled to hear anything other than his own screams.

And then there was cold. Cold on his face, something different, something he could focus on from within the mingled madness of his mind. He took a deep breath, ignoring the way it hurt as his lungs screamed for air, and focused on the cold. It was a few moments before he was able open his eyes. And looked into those beautiful blue ones.

Seraphine kept her hands cradling his face, as he closed his eyes again and attempted to resume his proper breathing. "Your hands are freezing." He joked, hating how raspy his voice sounded.

"Sorry," She replied keeping her voice low and quite, to try to keep his headache from coming back. "They are always like that." Her eyes were darting over his face, and she slowly withdrew her hands. Poe quickly caught them within his own.

"Don't apologize when I should be thanking you." He muttered slowly rubbing her hands between his own in an attempt to warm them up.

"It was nothing." Seraphine replied softly, trying to look anywhere but their hands. Then something grabbed her attention. "Stormtroopers. They are close."

Poe gestured to the cloth he had pulled from his face. "If I wrap back up they won't recognize me."

Seraphine shook her head. "They are searching for someone, which means they will make you take it off. We have to avoid them completely."

"How?" Poe questioned. Now even he could hear their footsteps, echoing down the roads.

"Oh, I am so going to fucking regret this." Seraphine hissed under her breath pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Regret wh," but before Poe could finish his question, Seraphine had grabbed his collar and pulled him with her against the wall.

They were very close.

Very very close, and she was unable to make eye contact with him, which caused Poe to chuckle. "So how's it going." He teased.

"Oh shut up." Seraphine snapped back, deciding to focus on the entrance to the main road closest to them. The Stormtroopers were almost right on them.

Seraphine's back was against the wall, and Poe was almost completely on top of her. He had a few inches on her, but their faces were still very very very close. Anyone who walked past and saw them would assume they were a kissing couple.

Which Poe assumed was the plan.

Yet it was still very awkward, and he could tell how uncomfortable Seraphine was. The poor girl seemed like the wanted to jump out of her skin. So Poe's mind was racing to find any topic other than the situation they were currently in.

"Do you ever just want to run away? Run away and leave this all behind." Poe asked. He didn't know where these words were coming from, or why he was asking her. A complete stranger who probably wanted him dead.

He was tired, and he wanted to just sleep. All he wanted to do was sleep, to just take a break and sleep for a week, a month, a year. Forever. His job always kept him going, without ever stopping. When he was with his men he was able to, keep his head up and keep on moving. He hadn't taken a break for as long as he could remember, not a single sick day, or a morning to sleep in. Then he had a mission to complete, men to inspire and a war to win.

Now, for some reason, in front of this women, he wanted to break down and sleep. To run away and not have to do anything ever again. To go to a far away place and live a life without a worry in the world. To be free in a way he knew deep down he would never be. That was not the life for him. It was not a life that he would ever be able to live. For he was Poe Dameron of the resistance. And he had a mission to complete.

Seraphine chuckled slightly and Poe turned to look at her. She was smiling slightly, a true slight smile but there was so much sadness in her eyes. So much sadness that it hurt his heart. "I have been running my whole life, Dameron. And yet you really can never get away. Life is a mistress that is not kind, and she always has a way of catching up with you."

Poe turned to completely look at her, his dark brown eyes searching her light blue ones. She was unable to make eye contact with him her eyes darting everywhere but his face. But he kept watching her, almost missing the slight blush that was creeping up her cheeks.

Then all he saw was a blinding light, and he put his hand over his eyes in an attempt to block it. Moments later the light was gone and the stormtroopers continued down the road, away from them. Poe took a step back, watching them go before questioning, "How the hell did that work?"

Seraphine shrugged, "I don't understand it exactly, but it does every single time."

"How often have you had to use it?"

"Enough. They aren't really all that bright, Stormtroopers."

Poe smiled, ever so slightly before looking back at her and asking, "Who hired you?"

Seraphine sighed, letting out a breath of air that she she had been holding. She leaned more back into the wall, running her hand through the loose strands of hair falling out of her braid. Poe's eyes followed her movement, watching her as she played with the few strands. "A friend. Of both me and you. I am not here to kill you, Dameron, I am here to save you."

Poe laughed, and shook his head. "You could have just said that."

"And missed all this fun we have had? Besides you would have never believed me anyway." Seraphine teased, before pushing herself up and slipping out from under Poe to step down the alley way more.

Poe laughed to himself before admitting, "True."

"Come on, we need to get moving again." She turned without another word and started to walk again, not running this time Poe noted. She still seemed tense and scared but she obviously didn't want to show it, he could only tell because of how tense her shoulders were. But she was walking, apparently thinking more about his still pounding head rather than her own fear.

And so he followed her. He continued to follow her. And something told him that he would follow this girl to the end of the earths if she asked him too.

Well. Maybe in another lifetime. Because in this one he had a mission. He had a universe to save. He just hoped that Seraphine would help him with that and not get in his way.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Welppp, I need to go to lab now. So yah, hope yall enjoyed it, and please please pretty please review? I wanted to thank_ .2017 _for their continued support and thank you ALL for reading. It really means a lot, and thank you. Lot's of love and let us get through this semester together! Also heyyyy, longest chapter yet whoop whoop_

 ** _Sneak Peak to Chapter Five_**

* * *

Fucking Hell.

Fuckingggggg hellllllllll.

Why did his face have to look so good? How does his face even still look good with how many hits it had taken. She was pretty sure she nailed it a few times herself.

Fuckinggggggg hellllllll.

She walked in front of him, making sure to stay in front of him so he couldn't see how bad her face was flushed. It felt like her cheeks were on fire.

Fuckingggggggg helllllllllllll.

Stupid fucking hormones, and shit.

Yah, that was what it was, all those hormones and stuff.

As almost every creepy old woman she had run into told her, her biological clock was ticking and it was time for her to start popping out babies. Ugh babies. She shuddered slightly.

Hormones.

That is what it had to be.

Only explanation.

Yep, only one.

She still wanted to bash his head in.

Yep.


	5. Fucking Hell

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: STORY TIME: Today I spent over 45 minutes looking for parking today so I could go take a quiz in a fucking class I already know I have to retake (Because a C- isn't good enough for Math apparently, I suck at and hate math so leave me alone) but getting worse will hurt my GPA even more but I COULDN'T FIND ANY. There was a high school football tournament and they let them take all of the parking because apparently that is more important than my ridiculously expensive college education. So I am pissed. So yah. CHAPTER? Reviews would make me feeeelllll better._

* * *

 **Chapter Five - Fucking Hell**

Fucking Hell.

Fuckingggggg hellllllllll.

Why did his face have to look so good? How does his face even still look good with how many hits it had taken? She was pretty sure she nailed it a few times herself.

Fuckinggggggg hellllllll.

She walked in front of him, making sure to stay in front of him so he couldn't see how bad her face was flushed. It felt like her cheeks were on fire.

Fuckingggggggg helllllllllllll.

Stupid fucking hormones, and shit.

Yah, that was what it was, all those hormones and stuff.

As almost every creepy old woman she had run into told her, her biological clock was ticking and it was time for her to start popping out babies. Ugh babies. She shuddered slightly.

Hormones.

That is what it had to be.

Only explanation.

Yep, only one.

She still wanted to bash his head in, it was just her hormones. She hadn't gotten laid in a longgggg time, that is what it had to be.

Yep. Only explanation.

She wasn't gonna lie, he was hot though.

She snapped back to her surroundings when she reached her intended destination and was very displeased by what she saw. "Welp, shit." She sighed, crouching down behind some crates. Poe quickly followed her, before sneaking a peak up.

"There's a ship."

"Mhm hm."

"Is it your ship?"

"Mhm hm."

"And it is completely surrounded by Stormtroopers."

"Mhm hm."

"Welp, shit." Poe repeated Seraphine's exclamation from earlier and then looked back at the back at the blonde. "What's the plan?"

"You aren't going to like it." Seraphine admitted, glancing over to the ship and then around them. "How's the head?"

"Better." Poe confirmed. "Sorry about that."

"Nah man, don't be, it's fine, they mind fucked you. I get it." Seraphine shrugged.  
Poe hesitated for a second before asking, "Mind what?"

"Mind fucked." Seraphine repeated before explaining, "Well, it's when they, well, fuck with your mind. Like go in and mess everything up, and you don't come back out of it right."

"So like torture." Poe repeated.

"Well, kinda I guess. But mind fucked is more for that force shit in your mind and they just move everything around and it sucks. So mind fucked." Seraphine attempted to explain, gesturing around her head the whole time. "It's hard to explain."

"No, I understand. Main fucked. How did you," Poe trailed off not really wanting an answer to his question.

"You were screaming." She replied simply and Poe looked at her surprised. "In your sleep, after I rescued you. You were screaming."

"Oh."

"You'll be fine though." Seraphine quickly commented in a weak attempt for comfort.

"How do you know that." Poe slowly asked and Seraphine sighed.

"I've seen the survivors of it before." Seraphine admitted before looking Poe in the eyes, the first time she had since he had met her. "It is not fun. It is going to be a pain in the ass to get completely past it, and you might never completely recover. But you can't let yourself go down that rabbit hole, Dameron. You have a mission, right."

Poe nodded slowly.

"So you will be fine. Complete the mission. Focus on the next step, that's how I live my life and it has kept me alive so far." She started to rustle around in her bag before pulling out a small sphere device.

Poe's mouth dropped open. "That's a bomb."

"Not exactly." Seraphine corrected. "It's a G-20 Glop Grenade." She snickered to herself. "Glop. Glop. Glop. I fucking love that word."

"Where did you get a Glop Grenade? And do you just carry them with you?" Poe questioned really surprised and looking at the girl in front of him differently. He was right earlier, she was a madwoman.

"I mean yeah pretty much? And it is really easy to buy anything you want if you go to the black market. I also have Flash bombs and Sonic detonators." She responded glancing into her bag as she did.

"You just carry those around with you? All the time?"

"Yeah." Seraphine replied not understanding why he was surprised. "But I am going to use my Glop Grenades because I don't want to kill anyone."

"You don't want to kill stormtroopers?"

"They aren't my target, Dameron. If we blast past them and escape on my ship than they will be looking for us. But if we can sneak past them and get you hidden then I can fly out of here with permission from them and we won't have a problem." She tapped her temple with the hand with the Glop Grenade in it, as Dameron watched it very closely. "I think ahead."

"So you are going to throw it into the town." Poe nodded, finally coming to the conclusion of her plan.

Seraphine nodded. "No one will get hurt and it's effects will be pretty much gone after 20 minutes or so, but it should create enough of a distraction that they will leave the ship unguarded just long enough that we can get in."

"You are crazy." Poe laughed and Seraphine, simply smiled. A real smile.

"Why thank you." Seraphine laughed before pulling out five more Glop Grenades from her bag.

Poe looked at the bag slightly confused. It wasn't that big, just how much stuff did she have in it?

"Stay here and stay down. Might want to cover you ears though, these things can be loud and we don't want to make your concussion worse." With that she was gone, running down one of the side roads.

To his own confusion, Poe stayed. He knew he should run, make a run for the ship when the explosions happened. But for some reason he stayed, crouched down behind the crates. To be fair, his head did still considerably hurt. So he stayed. He would be able to make a run for the ship once Seraphine set off the grenades.

He would get out of here. He would find BB-8. He would complete his mission.

He would steal her ship.

So he stayed, crouched behind the crates, ignoring the pounding in his head. He had a mission to complete. He would run after the explosions and capture the ship. He would be gone before Seraphine even was back, and that would be the end of it. Those blue eyes of hers might haunt him in his sleep, but he had a mission to complete. A universe to save.

She still hadn't told him who she really worked for. A friend is very vague and could backfire in his face. He couldn't trust her, he shouldn't trust her. And yet he did.

He shook his head violently, trying to shake loose the thought process he had been following, and looked around. Seraphine had been gone for a few solid minutes, where was she and why hadn't anything exploded yet?

The moment it crossed his mind, he heard the first one. It echoed through the streets, and Seraphine must have run a good distance away from them before she set it off. Soon there was another, and then explosion after explosion echoed created chaos in the otherwise rather quiet morning until Poe heard the last one. The sixth.

The stormtroopers began to shift among themselves as they received their orders and four of them left. Poe muttered something under his breath. Two of them were still there, carefully on watch, patrolling around the ship.

Suddenly, Seraphine landed beside him, barely breathing hard. Poe looked at her and then up and then back at her again. "Did you jump off the roof?"

"What of it?" Seraphine giggled, smiling widely, enjoying the adrenaline rush. She liked a good workout, hadn't gotten the time to recently. Well, no, she had time. Plenty of it really. She was just lazy, and sleep was better than working out. She did just enough to stay in shape and in good practice with her fighting. She was rather lazy after all, she had to deal with enough during her workday, she should be allowed to sleep in her off time.

Anyway. Back on topic.

She watched the stormtroopers with careful eyes before whispering "let's go," and taking off on a dead sprint hoping Poe was right behind her.

He was. And staying perfectly in time as well, they were able to slip to the back of her ship before the two patrolling turned to look where their path had been. "What is the plan?" Poe questioned, contemplating his options. He needed to get to the ship, but Seraphine had a plan of her own and that complicated things.

"We get on that ship and get out of here. On the radar so they don't come looking for us." Seraphine replied and when the stormtroopers turned again, she slipped onto the ramp up to her ship, Poe close behind her. "Ah, home sweet fucking home." She muttered lightly tapping her fist against some of the metal, before grabbing one of the grates leading to the bottom on her ship and twisting it loose. She grabbed the second layer and pulled it up too, before turning her head to gesture for him to get down.

"A hidden room?" Poe questioned, "Who did you get that idea from?"

"An old friend." Seraphine laughed watching the door as Poe slipped into the cramped space. "Stay here and stay quiet, and when I mean quite I mean not a fucking sound. No matter what happens I don't need you to come in a try to be a hero and get us both killed. Got it."

"Got it." Poe muttered, having to crane his neck in order to fit in the area. Seraphine carefully replaced the layers that she had removed, and Poe could hear her light footsteps as she slipped back out of the ship.

He had a mission, he needed to find BB-8. He needed to steal the ship and get out of here.

He needed to stay quiet.

So stay quiet he did.

Even if now his neck was going to be added to the long lists of things that were hurting him.

* * *

 ** _Author's Note: G-20 Glop Grenades, flash bombs, and sonic detonators all exist in the Star Wars Universe and belong to their rightful owners. Please review, and let me know what yall think/wonder/anything else along those lines!_**

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Six_

* * *

She managed to slip back off her ship without being seen and back into the alley. Things were actually going well, scary well, way to well. She didn't like it, but there wasn't really anything she could do about it. It wasn't that she wanted things to go bad, it was just things rarely went well in her line of work and it was hard to live expecting anything else.

Well there was still plenty of time for everything to go wrong and blow up in her face. Like it always did.

She was pacing in the alley way before stopping and taking a deep breath. She plastered a huge smile on her face, and started walking with an extra skip in her step.

"Helllooooooo boysssss!" She sang with a huge smile and wave at the stormtroopers.


	6. Goodbye Jakku, I Won

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language. Slight mentions of PTSD and torture._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: Pssshhhh so what if I have a huge chem midterm in three days and a ton of math homework due tonight, I wrote another chapter because I am me. Wonderful. Also I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the amazing reviews, they make me so happy when I see them!_

* * *

 **Chapter Six - Goodbye Jakku, I Won't Miss You**

She managed to slip back off her ship without being seen and back into the alley. Things were actually going well, scary well, way to well. She didn't like it, but there wasn't like there was anything she could do about it. It wasn't that she wanted things to go bad, it was just things rarely went well in her line of work and it was hard to live expecting anything else.

Well there was still plenty of time for everything to go wrong and blow up in her face. Like it always did.

She was pacing in the alley way before stopping and taking a deep breath. She plastered a huge smile on her face, and started walking with an extra skip in her step.

"Helllooooooo boysssss!" She sang with a huge smile and wave at the stormtroopers. They turned to look at her and she skipped all the way across the way to where they were here. "Quite a commotion going out there, huh." Both the stormtroopers slowly nodded. "Is it quite alright if I take my ship and get out of here? Don't want to be caught up in any messy businesses now do we."

"Name." One of the stormtroopers questioned in their stupid robot voice.

"Seraphine." Seraphine replied with a smile. "S-e-r-a-p-h-i-n-e."

"Last name." The stormtrooper questioned with their ever lasting monotone.

"Don't got one, it is just Seraphine."

"Purpose of visit." The stormtrooper continued without a hesitation, staring at his electronic clipboard.

"Collection Agent." Seraphine replied with a smile, pulling out a badge from her pocket. The stormtrooper roughly grabbed it from her hand and scanned with his device.

"What was your mission?" The stormtrooper questioned, but Seraphine simply responded by an overly girly laugh.

"You know I can't respond to that. Collection Agents are it's own entity, we do not report to either the New Republic or the First Order, so you have no authority over me. Unless your clearance level is above mine, my mission is it's own to protect those that hired me."

"Are you leaving Jakku with any merchandise?" The stormtrooper replied unimpressed by her little speech.

"No."

"You were spotted with this man. Who is he?" The stormtrooper held up his tablet to show her a picture of Poe and her walking through the town. She cursed under her breath but kept her smile on her face. She hadn't known anyone had gotten a picture of them, she was lucky she thought to put the rags to cover his face.

"My guide. I didn't get his name, he didn't talk much. A big place like this is pretty easy for a girl like me to get lost." Seraphine replied. The stormtrooper swiped for another picture, one of the two of them up against the wall, very close. From that angle it did certainly look like they were making out. "Like I said. We didn't talk much."

The stormtrooper simply looked at her before swiping again to show her a third picture. "Do you know this man?"

Seraphine had to hold back the desire to snort. She had forgotten how stupid that recruitment poster looked, especially since she had now seen the real person. They wanted to catch her in a lie, but she wasn't stupid. Everyone knew this man. "Poe Dameron, right? The resistance fighter? Is he here? Is that who you guys are searching for?"

The stormtrooper did not reply, simply asking another question. "Have you seen a BB-8 unit, or any other droid without it's owner?"

"No. And if it is still out there I would get good money that the scavengers have gotten to it by now and the poor little fellow is in bits in pieces." Seraphine replied wondering how long this was going to take. She could tell they weren't suspicious of her, or else they would be trying to march her out of here in cuffs. Not that she would let them, but she still intended to play it nice. She had blasted out guns blazing far too many times and it always came back to bite her in the ass. But she did want to get out of here sooner than later, especially since she knew how uncomfortable that tiny storage area was. The pilot was busted up enough.

The stormtrooper seemed uninterested as he handed her back her identification.

She smiled but when the two trooper turned their back at her to read over something coming over their device, she rubbed her nose with a singer finger. Her favorite finger. She held back the desire to stick out her tongue at them, she felt like that was childish. Flipping someone off is so much more adult after all.

She had always claimed that she didn't take a side in this whole First Order and Resistance thing. She wasn't even with the New Republic. She had picked a side once and it didn't end well. She had cared too much for far too many people, and it came around to bite her in the ass. Just like feelings tended to do. That's why she liked to stick with the Collection Agents. Everyone works by themselves, and she can be by herself in the lovely loneliness of space. That being said the First Order were snobby whiny pricks who felt like they deserved everything to be laid out at their feet. And they wanted to commit mass genocide. So, she didn't like that very much. She did rather enjoy making their lives difficult.

She hated all people, but the people she hated most were the people who felt that others were below them. That they were nothing more than dirt under their feet, all because of the circumstances they were born into. She had set out to try to save the world, but that turned into too much for her to handle, deal with, and was rather a waste of time. For the world turned out to be a universe, far bigger than she ever knew there was and far bigger than she could save.

One person can't save everyone. She learned that the hard way. And one can't always trust the ones they thought were going to change the world. Lies are too easy to flow of the tongue and people are too easy to trust. So she trusted no one. It was simply easier.

Now, why were they ignoring her, she took offense to that. She might not look like a threat but she could be one when she felt like putting the effort into it. Taking up to her tip toes and cursing her height for like the billionth time since she stopped growing, she managed to peak over the shoulders of the stormtroopers. They were watching their tablet intently, most likely receiving new orders. The words were moving too quickly for her to read them, but when one of the stormtroopers clicked on a video she couldn't help but grin.

Two figures running with a droid, a BB-8 unit, and then blasting off of this planet. And that ship, well of course it was THAT ship. That was probably the droid they were looking for.

She snickered slightly and then dropped back to her heels quickly when the stormtroopers turned to look back at her. "So can I go now."

"We have to scan your ship first." The second stormtrooper replied, obviously bored.

Seraphine smiled, "Be my guest."

Well shit.

The paneling would hide Poe for at least a little bit of time, but it depends on the scanner's abilities. God this job was turning into a pain in her ass. Most of her jobs were easy. She didn't have to deal with people, she would just bring something from one location to another or get something no one else could get too. She got to have fun and go on adventures but she never had to deal with people when she did. People were stupid and make things difficult. Waste of her time.

She should have known to not take this job. At least it was paying a ridiculous amount of money. She would be able to relax for a little. Not that she would, because relaxing allows for her mind to go to places she prefered it would not go. Memories are never kind to those who want to leave them behind. The past is always there no matter how hard you try to run away from it. A broken heart never truly heals. So endless work she did.

She swore to the heavens if she died because of this, she would haunt him for eternity. Knowing his track record he would probably get out of it without a scratch too. She should have known better than taking this damn job.

They entered one of the buildings and then pulled out a heavy duty scanner, before heading over to her ship.

God could they move any slower.

She just wanted to get the damn out of here.

She just wanted to go to sleep.

And take a long ass fucking shower.

Fuck, when was the last time she had gotten sleep.

She needed a nap. A nap for eternity.

Yeahhhhhh, that sounded nice.

Now she just had to focus on not like dying.

(From within the ship)

His neck was killing him.

His head was killing him.

His back was killing him.

His face was killing him.

His ribs were killing him.

His lungs were killing him.

It was probably a shorter list of what wasn't killing him. Let's think about that, what wasn't hurting right now? Three of his toes felt fine. That was about it.

Why was it taking her so long?

The area she had shoved him in was slightly too small for his height. He was used to being in small areas, none of the cockpits he had flown in were especially spacious. He was used to not having space, but he had never felt quite so claustrophobic.

It felt like the walls were moving in and out, so he just closed his eyes. Focused on his breathing, his very ragged loud breathing. He focused on taking each breath no matter how badly it hurt his ribs and lungs as he did.

In and out.

In and out.

In the nose, out the mouth.

In and out.

In and out.

In the nose, out the mouth.

Slowly the pain began to dull, and he just focused on his breathing.

He needed to get out of here, he had a mission to serve, a universe to save, and BB-8 to find. Then he heard the screams again, his screams and the pain all came searing back. Just the pain of his body, but also the pain from before. The pain from his brain, the pain of having pieces of his brain poked and prodded. Ripped apart and put together not quite right.

Nothing about him felt quite right anymore.

Everything was wrong.

Then he heard it. A clink of a footstep on the metal railing. He jerked himself out of his breathing paining, and immediately cursing the shot of pain he felt up his side. The steps continued to all the way up and Poe's mind was racing. Was this part of the plan? What was the plan? She had been very vague about it.

He could have been out of here by now, searching for BB-8.

He could have gotten back to the base by now with the map.

Instead he was crammed inside this fucking tiny little space listen to the stormtrooper's boots clunk up the ramp. There was nowhere for him to go. There was nowhere for him to run.

This was a bad idea.

(With Seraphine)

She watched carefully as the stormtroopers lazily scanned the ship. She did have to say that out of all of the stormtroopers that she had met, these were some of the most unprofessional. She had seen plenty of people who hated their jobs before, but these guys were frustratingly slow. She felt like the seconds were ticking by, each one slower than the last. At least they were thorough, as slow as they were going, they were scanning on the whole ship.

She set her eyes on the hidden compartment and whispered a string of curse words when the scanner beeped as she passed over it. He mind was racing and she figured she had two options, fight her way out of this, or play dumb. The question with the second option was were they stupid enough to believe her. Wait. If they were stupid enough to believe she didn't know that he was on her ship, than that gave her a third option. She would have never guessed that that fucking gift could have actually saved her life.

She smiled sweetly when the stormtroopers turned to look at her, one of them raising their blaster as they did. "Um. So I take that beeping thingy is a bad thing?" She giggled. She was blonde, and for some reason when she played dumb people believed her. Someone had tried to explain why to her but it didn't make sense. But it worked. So it was something she used rather often.

People were idiots.

"Do you have any life forms on your ship?" The stormtrooper with the raised blaster questioned, more forcefully.

"Life forms?" Seraphine replied tilting her head. "Nah, just us I think." She pretended to overthink it. "Actually now that I think about it! Mind moving the scanner out of the way?" One of the stormtroopers moved the scanner off the panel Poe was hiding underneath, the other kept his gun trained on her back. She lifted up the first panel of metal, leaving only one layer between her and the pilot. When she listened closely she could hear is breathing, so at least she knew he was still alive. That was a plus. She continued to fish around some of the items that were in there, before she pulled out a large box and open it before turning to the stormtroopers.

"It is alive apparently. Got it as a gift a while back, and I completely forgot about. Honestly don't know how the thing is alive, but apparently it doesn't need sunlight, water, or food. Or anything apparently. Could that have set it off?" The thing inside the box was moving. And she actually didn't know how it was still alive, or what it was called. She had gotten it about a year ago and was told it wouldn't die. Which is a good thing since she has the opposite of a green thumb. She put it in this storage container for this specific reason. She just didn't know if anyone would actually believe it.

The two stormtroopers glanced at each other. One of them lifted a smaller scanner, and it beeped over the box, so they nodded.

"You are free to go." And with that they were gone.

Seraphine watched them go, before she closed the entrance way. She pulled open the last layer, snickering "I can't believe they fucking believed that. Fucking idiots, I swear on the heavens, how are ya'll even losing to them."

"We aren't losing to them." Poe grumbled, pushing himself up rubbing the back of his neck he did.

"Mhmmm, whatever you say, pretty boy." Seraphine laughed, reaching her hand out to help Poe up. She visibly winced when she heard his back crack, but he stood up completely without a complaint.

"I would consider myself to be more handsome, than pretty." Poe muttered rubbing his face and frowning to himself. He hated the way the stubble felt against his hand, and he could already feel the bruises. And the cuts. He probably didn't look that great right then.

"Whatever you say, pretty boy." Seraphine shrugged. "Let's got the hell out of here."

"We can't, I need to find,"

"Your droid, a BB-8 unit." Seraphine interrupted, taking her seat and starting to work on the buttons.

"How did,"

"You talk in your sleep bro. Or I guess when you are unconscious, but same thing. When I was talking to the stormtroopers they were watching a video of a man and woman escaping Jakku with a BB-8 unit with fire power raining down on them. What are the chances that there are two different BB-8 units wanted by the First Order on Jakku. I think that would be pretty fucking small, don't you." Seraphine explained, talking really fast. Poe missed half of the words, she was slurring most of them together, and to be completely honest her accent was distracting him. "Let's get off this fucking planet. And away from this fucking sand. I hate fucking sand. I can still feel it, it is embedded into my skin and uggghhhh I hate it."

Poe started to chuckle to himself, relaxing into the seat beside her. Even with how much pain he was still in, it was actually rather comfortable. He wasn't completely in pain anymore. "When did you become such a chatterbox?"

"Ah, fuck off Dameron. Let's get off this damn planet, already."

* * *

 _Author's Note: Also, I was such an adult today. I came home after going to build-a-bear with my roommate to watch Phineas and Ferb. I did spend over six hours studying for chemistry, so I think it balances out. I am so adult. I did adult well today. (longest chapter yet whoop whoop, please leave reviews, loveeeee youuuuu!)_

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Six_

* * *

"Wake Up. Wake Up. Wake Up."

"I am not asleep." Poe groaned open his eyes to look at the blonde who was kicking his seat insistently.

"Good because you have like 5 concussions and sleeping could mean death." Seraphine replied, leaning back into her chair and kicking her legs up. "My mission was to deliver you alive, so please don't die. Thanks."

Poe groaned again and glanced out the windshield at all of the stars going by. He honestly didn't know where he was going, Seraphine refused to tell him. Same bullshit about protecting the person who hired her, Poe still didn't even know who it was. He didn't know who had BB-8, or where the hell he was, or what was even going on. But right now he didn't want to focus on that. He wanted to sleep and find a way to get rid of his headache. He really wanted to sleep. But every time he even left his eyes drift close, Seraphine would kick his seat again.

So he turned his attention to the blonde. "So, Seraphine. Where are you from? I don't recognize your accent."

Seraphine groaned. "That is a long story."

Poe simply shrugged. "It's not like we don't have time."


	7. Package Delivered

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: Sleeeepppppp iiisssss ffooorrrr tttthhheeee weeeeeeeaaaakkk. Two chapters in one day, wow do I love procrastinating. Got a paper to write analysing my failed relationship (Psychology is a strange major that has you doing strange things), so honestly I would much rather be doing this. And I am very sick of chem. So this it is. As always, thank you for the support, it really means a lot._

* * *

 **Chapter Seven - Package Delivered**

"Wake Up. Wake Up. Wake Up."

"I am not asleep." Poe groaned open his eyes to look at the blonde who was kicking his seat insistently.

"Good because you have like 5 concussions and sleeping could mean death." Seraphine replied, leaning back into her chair and kicking her legs up. "My mission was to deliver you alive, so please don't die. Thanks."

Poe groaned again and glanced out the windshield at all of the stars going by. He honestly didn't know where he was going, Seraphine refused to tell him. Same bullshit about protecting the person who hired her, Poe still didn't even know who it was. He didn't know why he was trusting her, but it wasn't like he had much choice. He didn't know who had BB-8, or where the hell he was, or what was even going on. But right now he didn't want to focus on that. He wanted to sleep and find a way to get rid of his headache. He really wanted to sleep. But every time he even left his eyes drift close, Seraphine would kick his seat again.

So he turned his attention to the blonde. "So, Seraphine. Where are you from? I don't recognize your accent."

Seraphine groaned. "That is a long story."

Poe simply shrugged. "It's not like we don't have time."

Seraphine frowned, obviously thinking and obviously uncomfortable. So Poe changed the conversation topic, kind off. "Both of my parents were part of the Rebel Alliance, and I guess being a pilot is part of my blood. My mom taught me how to fly. I grew up on Yavin 4, before I joined the New Republic and then the Resistance."

Seraphine nodded slowly before sighing and conceding, "I never knew my parents, I don't know anything about them, nor I really care. I grew up on Talali, a planet that really didn't have any contact with the outside world. Left when I was twelve, for like ten years I moved from place to place and then have spent the last six doing this. My accent is from Talali I think, but I'm not sure."

"So Talali is home for you?" Poe asked.

"Never really had a home, and then I lost closest one I ever had." Seraphine shrugged looking away and ending the conversation but Poe kept looking at her. Based on the numbers she said, she was about 28, not that much younger than him. But she didn't look at it, not in the slightest. She looked like she was barely over 20, if you just looked at her face. If you looked in her eyes, she looked older than she was, for in her eyes was a sadness that was hard to describe.

They were some of the lightest blue eyes he had ever seen, rather striking. It would be very easy to just get lost in them forever, but if one was too look deeper they would see a true sadness. Not a normal sadness, something more.

Poe wanted to know more about this mysterious woman, but she appeared to be very uncomfortable talking about herself. Most people were.

"So where are we going?" He questioned and Seraphine smirked.

"Where we are going."

"When will we get there?" He questioned further and Seraphine smirked wider.

"When we get there."

"Are you purposely trying to be unhelpful, Seraphine."

Seraphine nodded. "Yep."

"Why?"

Seraphine shrugged before standing up out of her seat. "Because is is fun." She fished something out of her bag and then tossed it a Poe. "Here. It is a thingy to keep you distracted, don't fall asleep. I need a power nap or I am going to pass out. Don't even bother trying to change our course or check where we are going, I already locked you out of the system."

"Must you be difficult?" Poe complained and Seraphine simply smiled before lying down and curling up on the bed further back, and tucked within some cabinets. She fell asleep pretty quickly Poe guessed based on how fast her breathing evened out. He was able to do that when he was exhausted, but he normally was stuck staring at his ceiling questioning everything about his life. Then again, she has been awake longer than he had been, and he wanted to pass out in the chair right now.

Knowing Seraphine had been right, that sleeping on concussions was never a good thing, he turned his attention to what Seraphine had thrown her. He didn't really understand it, there were a little moving pieces and he didn't understand the point if it. He just messed with it as the seconds clicked by, trying to drag out the time till they got to their destination.

(some unknown amount of time later, because I don't want to specify or try to figure out the distance and then the math for between Jakku and where they are going. Yah. Just assume it's at least a few hours but not more than a day I guess?)

Poe Dameron was starting to get very bored. He had run out of things to do a very long time ago, and was getting jittery. He really needed to know where they were going. Seraphine had been right, she had locked him completely out of the system. When he tried to figure it out, an automated voice came along as said "fuck off, Dameron, don't touch my shit." When had she had time to program that? He focused instead on trying to figure out the system without touching it. It was an older model, and from what he could tell was very influenced by having an AI (artificial intelligence). He couldn't tell exactly what model of ship they were in, it looked like a few had been put together.

He hated to admit it, but he actually jumped when it started to beep beside him. He glanced at the system and then back at Seraphine. She was still curled up in a ball, her back against the wall. She didn't move.

Sighing, Poe slowly raised himself out of his chair, ignoring the pain that came with it, to head over to the sleeping girl. He crouched beside her and hated that he had to wake her up. She was sleeping so peacefully, it was so different from the sadness in her eyes. She wasn't smiling or anything, but it wasn't like she really did that normally. She looked young, sweet and innocent. Not someone who should be anywhere near this mess. He was fighting to keep people like this out of the mess. She looked so small. She looked like an angel.

He slowly reached out to shake her shoulder, but was interrupted by a hand forcefully on his collar. Seraphine's eyes darted open, the sadness back but also a fire within them. She loosed her hold on his collar slightly when she saw it was him and just looked rather irritated rather than ready to kill. "What?"

Poe opened his mouth and then closed it again, honestly at a loss of words. He hadn't been this close to her and really looking at her face. She was one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. A defined jaw bone, high cheeks, and well defined proportions. Somehow her makeup hadn't rubbed off in her sleep, the two blue streaks leading from her neck down to her collar bone. Her eyes were still lined, and the color on her lips remained. As that thought crossed his mind, his eyes dropped to her lips. They were right there.

"What?" Seraphine repeated, more annoyed, but she smirked when she saw where Poe's attention had turned. She leaned in closer, before moving aside at the last second to whisper in her ear. She could feel his breath on her neck, and that wasn't such a bad thing. "Want to make out, pretty boy."

With that Poe stood up and shook his head to get rid of the thoughts it was not the time to have. Like how he really wanted to pin her down on that bed. How he wanted to make the sadness in her eyes go away, being replaced with pleasure in the best possible way. He was thinking of things he really shouldn't be thinking. Like what she tasted like. That was the hardest one to shake.

Seraphine cursed under her breathe when he moved but swung her legs where he had been. He was hot. She needed to get laid. What was the problem here? "What?" She repeated again, a little nicer this time. She felt like she had barely slept, the tired she never was really able to escape was still creeping in in the corners of her mind. She did smile slightly when she noticed that the tips of his ears were red.

"Your system is beeping." Poe replied gesturing to the cockpit.

"Really, shit." Seraphine darted up, almost hitting her head as she did. She brushed past Poe, and was swinging into her seat. She typed in a code and then started to work, as Poe slowly walked up behind her. "How long was I out?"

"A while." Poe replied lowering himself into the chair, holding his ribs. His chest hurt and blood was rushing to places he would really prefer that it wasn't.

"Well, we are here then I guess." Seraphine replied.

"Where is here?" Poe questioned, wondering when he was ever going to get that question answered. And trying to focus on something other than the blood rushing to his ears and other regions.

Seraphine smiled at him. A real smile. "Poe Dameron, welcome to D'Qar."

"But that is." Poe replied surprised before stopping himself.

"Where your secret base is, yes."

Poe began to stammer, "How did you?" What is the point of having a secret base if someone like a collection agent knows where it is?

"Have you really not figured out who fucking hired me, yet? Who else want's you alive other than the First Order. Fucks, you really aren't the smartest either. Maybe this is why you are losing to the First Order."

"We aren't losing to them." Poe snapped back and Seraphine just laughed. She dropped the ship out of hyperspace, and Poe felt his heart rise when he saw the landscape of D'Qar. He didn't realise how much he missed it. Home.

A voice came over the radio. "Unidentified vessel identify yourself."

Seraphine grabbed the receiver, and replied, "Tell your general that her package has arrived."

There was static on the other end, before the voice repeated "Unidentified vessel identify yourself.

Seraphine sighed and repeated "Tell your general that her package has arrived." When they were met by more static, Poe grabbed the receiver out of her hand ignoring her protest.

"This is Black Leader, identification code Papa-Seven-Five-Oscar-Eight-Echo. Requesting for permission to land." Poe replied giving her a look. She just insisted on being cryptic.

The static cracked again before the voice came back over. "Permission granted Black Leader, glad to have you back, Dameron."

Poe smiled and turned to Seraphine who seemed to be distracted. She seemed to be counting something, moving her finger in the air. "What?"

"Is your identification seriously your name?" She giggled and Poe just sighed.

"Just land the damn ship." He replied, running his hand through his hair.

"Language."

"Like you can talk." Poe muttered rolling his eyes. He let out a sigh of air he didn't know he had been holding, but could still feel a weight on his shoulders. A weight that was always with him, no matter where he went. He might have made it back alive, somehow, but he wasn't done yet. He still needed to find BB-8. Hopefully his friend was okay. "The General hired you?"

"Yep."

"Why you?"

Seraphine shrugged. "Like I said, old friend."

"Your old friends with the General?"

"Yep." Seraphine replied, landing her vessel and opening the loading door. "Here you go, Dameon. Didn't I tell you I'd get you back safe and sound?"

"I seem to remember you threatening to leave me behind, bleeding to death in the sand." Poe replied standing out of his seat, teasingly.

Seraphine shrugged. "If I did I won't have gotten paid."

"Wow that hurts." Poe replied with a fake shock, before exiting the ship to be welcomed by his excited comrades and friends. Seraphine sat with her feet on the dashboard, listening to the commotion outside. When it begun to quiet down, she sighed, knowing who was probably the reason behind that. She did have one last favor to pay an old friend before she could leave. So slowly she got up and started to walk off the ship.

General Leia Organa was speaking to Poe, welcoming him back and glad he returned safely. He had updated her that they needed to find BB-8, and she had already sent the order out. She was happy the pilot had returned, but when the blonde stepped off the ship she couldn't help but smile. Poe who had been talking, trailed off in mid sentence when he realized that he had lost the General's attention. "Hello Seraphine." Leia mused and Seraphine awkwardly waved at her.

"Hey."

"Come here child." Leia laughed, and within a few steps Seraphine had bonded to her hug. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah it has." Seraphine muttered before pulling back. "I brought your man back alive."

"Thank you." Leia acknowledge. "Come inside."

"I really should get going." Seraphine muttered, gesturing back to her ship.

Leia laughed. "Just for a little, Angel. Besides when was the last time you had a real meal?"

Seraphine thought back, and honestly she couldn't remember. "Okay, just for a little."

* * *

 _Author's Note: I haven't had an Author's point in a while and I know it's a lot, but hopefully this will clear up any questions that you guys have about timeline and other stuff. If you have any other questions please let me know and I will be happy to answer them to the best of my ability. As always thank you so much for reading, and please review. Your support really does mean a lot._

 _Author's Points: 1) Talali is a real place, I made it up in my head and then found it is a real village in Iran. Last time they did a census a total of 16 people lived there. So thats a fun fact._

 _2) Also, some of the time lines in Star Wars are not currently clear. Some are ridiculously detailed, but some aren't really done being set up yet. Specifically one that is important, as you guys will find out later, but currently this matches my understanding of it/what I filled in the spots with. The new movie comes out soon, and if the timeline is updated at all, I will change things accordingly and let you guys know._

 _3) Again timelines, I don't understand all of them. I am working on the assumption that Poe is 32. I think it lines up, he was born in 2 ABY according to the WIKI page, but if you have other evidence please let me know and I will happily adjust. I also made his identification code up because he doesn't have one officially and it would be stupid for a secret base (or any base really) to just trust the guy that was flying in claiming to be Black Leader, but not in Black One (his x-wing)._

 _4) At this point of the movie, Finn, Ray and BB-8 are about to meet Han at the beginning of the chapter, and have met Han by the end. The chapters are going rather slowly, but no time has really passed. As Seraphine and Poe haven't slept in a while, we are getting very very close to events that occurred in the movie. As well as events that involve the reason that this is rated M. Thank you for your patience, I swear it is worth it. Or at least I think/hope it is._

 _Sneak Peak into Chapter Eight (side note, do you hate me yet? You'll hate me slightly more.)_

* * *

"We found him, Commander." A man shouted running up, slightly out of breath. Poe had just wrapped up in the tank, and was feeling about a thousand times better. It didn't hurt to move anymore. He had found Seraphine hiding in a corner waiting for the General to wrap up with some meetings so they could grab a meal before she left, and insisted on walking her to a better place for her to wait. They both turned to the man who ran up to him. "Your BB-8 unit, we found him. He's on Takodana."

Poe smiled widely. "That is amazing news. Round up the men, we are going to get him." The men nodded, and then ran off again. Poe glanced back at the blonde, "Keep on going, it's the second right."

Seraphine nodded and then replied, "Have fun on your little rescue mission."

"Not a stay safe." Poe teased.

Seraphine shrugged. "I brought you back alive, I got paid. It ain't my worry what you what you do with your life after that." Poe rolled her eyes and turned before she spoke up again. "Dameron." He turned to look at her. "Stay safe. And try to not get captured by the First Order, hiring me is kind of expensive. Won't want to have to save you again." She smiled at him. A real smile.

Poe laughed and nodded before turning away and taking a few more steps. Then he stopped, standing in the middle of the hallway his wheels turning.

He had never seen her smile like that before, it made his heart hurt. He didn't know if she would still be here when he came back. Hell, he didn't even know if he was going to be coming back. The life he chose involved risk, he could get shot down almost any day. He could die and never see her again.

He had sworn to never live life with regrets. He didn't have time for it.

Before he had even completely processed his decision, he had already turned and taken the steps. Before he could really think, his lips were on hers. And then he could only think of one thing.

Heaven.

She tasted like heaven.

It was the only way he could describe it.

Heaven.


	8. Disaster and Awkward Reunions

Warnings: Lots and lots and lots, actually like a ridiculous amount of explicit usage of language.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned.

Author's Note: So we have (finally) caught up with the movie plot. Yay. We also have less than a month until the second movie is out, so even more yay!

* * *

 **Chapter Eight - Disaster and Awkward Reunions; Her Least Two Favorite Things**

"We found him, Commander." A man shouted running up, slightly out of breath. Poe had just wrapped up in the tank, and was feeling about a thousand times better. It didn't hurt to move anymore. He had found Seraphine hiding in a corner waiting for the General to wrap up with some meetings so they could grab a meal before she left, and insisted on walking her to a better place for her to wait. They both turned to the man who ran up to him. "Your BB-8 unit, we found him. He's on Takodana."

Poe smiled widely. "That is amazing news. Round up the men, we are going to get him." The men nodded, and then ran off again. Poe glanced back at the blonde, "Keep on going, it's the second right."

Seraphine nodded and then replied, "Have fun on your little rescue mission."

"Not a stay safe." Poe teased.

Seraphine shrugged. "I brought you back alive, I got paid. It ain't my worry what you what you do with your life after that." Poe rolled her eyes and turned before she spoke up again. "Dameron." He turned to look at her. "Stay safe. And try to not get captured by the First Order, hiring me is kind of expensive. Won't want to have to save you again." She smiled at him. A real smile.

Poe laughed and nodded before turning away and taking a few more steps. Then he stopped, standing in the middle of the hallway his wheels turning.

He had never seen her smile like that before, it made his heart hurt. He didn't know if she would still be here when he came back. Hell, he didn't even know if he was going to be coming back. The life he chose involved risk, he could get shot down almost any day. He could die and never see her again.

He had sworn to never live life with regrets. He didn't have time for it.

Before he had even completely processed his decision, he had already turned and taken the steps. Before he could really think, his lips were on hers. And then he could only think of one thing.

Heaven.

She tasted like heaven.

It was the only way he could describe it.

Heaven.

And with that he was gone, running down the hallway, leaving a slightly confused Seraphine behind him. "What the fuck." She muttered, before starting to walk to where Poe had sent her.

She hadn't actually made it to the room when she heard her name. "Seraphine." She turned and look at the General. "Something came up, and I need to go."

"Takodana." She replied, not being really able to pronounce the word right with her accent. She knew where it was, but had never been able to go herself.

Leia wasn't even surprised that she knew that. Seraphine always had an habit of always knowing what was going on, even as a child. She was wiser than her years and had a habit of eavesdropping. "Care to join me."

Seraphine shrugged and replied, "Why not. I can be your bodyguard, just like old times."

"Just like old times." Leia repeated chuckling. "What is with the sudden enthusiasm, I thought you wanted to have nothing to do with our resistance?"

Seraphine looped her arm in the older woman's one, and they begun to walk down the hallway. "I don't. But the people who have BB-8 also have the falcon."

Leia looked at her suddenly. "Was he with him."

Seraphine sighed and replied, "I'm not sure. I didn't see him in the video I saw. But I intend to find out."

(some time later, while in hyperspace)

"How are you Miss. Seraphine." C-3PO asked, looking at the blonde.

Seraphine smiled at the droid. "I am good C-3PO. Love the arm."

C-3PO looked at his red arm, and replied, "I don't." Seraphine simply laughed. Suddenly Leia gasped beside her.

"Leia what's wrong?" Seraphine asked, as the general begun to double over gasping for breath.

"All of those souls." Leia gasped, and Seraphine looked at her confused. "All those pour souls."

"They are gone." The navigator shouted as he begun to panic.

"What do you mean they are gone?" Seraphine shouted back, while trying to help Leia.

"The-the planets, they are gone. The republic. It-it's it's gone." The navigator sputtered, not knowing how to explain. "They are-are jus-st-sss-t just gone."

"Is anyone else reading this?" A voice came over the radio, the panic obvious in their voice.

"What could possibly be causing these kind of readings? That kind of shock wave, I've never seen anything like it before." A different one came across and the navigator and pilot simply glanced back at the general.

"This is command." A voice that Seraphine didn't recognize (Taslin Brance) came across the radio. "We are confirming the readings. General, the Republic command—the entire Hosnian system—it's all-gone."

"The whole system? What could do that?"

"It has to be the damn First Order."

"The Republic is gone?"

"What about all of the people who lived there?"

Seraphine ignored the panicked Resistance members as helped Leia resume her normal breathing. The woman had obviously been affected by the attack on the Hosnian system, probably some of that force mumble jumble bullshit. The Jedis were affected when stuff like this happened apparently, and so was anyone else force sensitive. Her attention turned back to the radio, when she recognized one of the voices.

"Everyone calm down!" But the Black leader's attempt was interrupted by the desperate voices from the pilots and other bases all talking at one. They were starting to give Seraphine and headache and she knew that it couldn't be doing anything to help Leia. They were just making things worse, panicking like that. What the hell did they think they signed up for? This was war.

She glanced at Leia who was staring at her. After making eye contact, Seraphine knew what Leia wanted her to do, but she couldn't help but sigh. She didn't sign up for this. It was supposed to be an simple catch up between friends. None of this bullshit. She stumped over to the cockpit and forcefully grabbed the radio out of the pilot who was attempting to talk over all of the commotion. All of the words were blurring together.

She took a deep breath and then shouted, "Shut the fuck up." Relatively quickly the line begun to fall silent, and she looked at the pilot surprised. "I can't believe that worked." He simply shrugged. She took a deep breathe and began again. "Listen up, fuckers, and welcome to glorious war. This is how it works. People die, get the hell over it. I ain't the best with inspiration speeches, if you want one, listen to pretty boy. But I will be real with you all. The mother fuckers in the First Order just blew up a whole system of planets and that is fucking terrifying. It really is. But if the Republic is gone, there is no one to stop the First Order. That is if you guys keep freaking out. So calm the fuck down. You are the Resistance. You are fighting against the First Order, you always have been. You guys are famous for getting out of situations that I don't even know how you get yourselves into. Like for real guys, how the fuck do you do that? How can someone be so damn unlucky and lucky at the same time?"

She glanced back at Leia who was lightly chuckling as she listened to Seraphine's rant. "Back on topic though. The First Order needs to be stopped. Those bastards need to pay for their crimes, to pay for all of the shit they have pulled over the years. They just murdered a shit ton of people. But if they win, no one is going to remember that. No one is going to be able too, because they will murder a shit ton more. They are probably gonna murder the whole god damn universe. It is your guys job to stop them. So do your fucking jobs. Win. And avenge those who have died. Fight for them. Win for them. It's simple."

She sighed and took a deep breath. "We can't save them. We can't save everyone, and they are gone. There's nothing we can do. But that doesn't mean they are forgotten. What they stood for remains, and the the First Order has to be stopped. And you guys can do it. The universe believes in you. The word Resistance brings hope to the victims, hope that the First Order will be stopped and the deaths of the innocents will be avenged. So win. And make them pay for what they did."

She was met by silence, before a chuckle came over the line. "Probably could have said it better, but I agree with her point."

Seraphine smirked. "Thank's pretty boy, now get out there and kick some First Order ass."

(after the battle on Takodana)

The ship slowly landed on what was left of Takodana after the battle. The members of the squad left aboard, quickly disembarked, the general not far behind them. Seraphine was speaking to the pilot when she noticed that Leia had stopped.

She stood up for a second looking confused on why Leia was just standing there.

"Goodness! Han Solo. It is I, C-3PO. You probably don't recognize me because of the red arm." Seraphine began to chuckle. Of course he was here. And of course, C-3PO was being his awkward self. "Look at who it is, did you see who it is… Oh. Uh. Hmm. Excuse me, Prin… General. Sorry. Come on BB-8, quickly." Oh BB-8 was here too. Wonderful, things are going quite well considering, all of the pieces falling together perfectly, almost too easily.

She slowly walked over to the entrance and watched the scene in front of her.

"You changed your hair." Han commented, standing very awkwardly, attempting to seem bigger than he was.

"Same jacket." Leia replied simply.

"No, new jacket." Han defended. It did look exactly like the old one though.

Chewy walked up and gave Leia a hug, and the two of them smiled at each other before Leia turned her attention back to Han.

"I saw him." Han confessed and Seraphine's heart dropped slightly. She can only imagine that Leia's did as well. "Leia, I saw our son." Han took a deep breath. "He was here."

Leia simply sighed and shook her head. Not knowing what to say she changed the topic. "I've seen someone else as well." She glanced back into the ship and Seraphine tentatively took a step out.

"Seraphine." Han smiled. "You look good."

"Thanks." Seraphine replied rubbing her arm slightly. "You do too." She giggled when Chewy pulled her into a tight hug. "Hi Chewy, I missed you."

"Come here, kid." Han sighed when Chewy let her go and Seraphine jumped down the ramp and within a few steps was within his arms. "A collection agent, huh. Thought I taught you better." He teased tucking her head under his chin.

"Hey it's pays the bills." Seraphine shot back pushing against him out of the hug in mock offense. "And I rather like being a collection agent."

"You sure it's paying the bills. You are tiny as always." Han asked looking her up and down.

"I eat." Seraphine replied, and Han raised his eyebrows. "I do!"

Han simply smiled at her, and when he turned to speak with Leia again, she lost interest. Instead she turned to look at the other man who was standing impatiently beside them. He noticed her gaze and quickly commented, "I am Finn."

"Finn?" She repeated and the man nodded. "Huh. How the fuck do you guys always survive no matter what stupid stunts you pull?"

Finn simply looked at her confused but before he ask anything one of the stormtroopers beside them begun to move and raise his blaster. Before he could even shout a warning, Seraphine had already moved. She was upon him in seconds and had kicked the blaster out of his hand. She then kicked him in the side. And kicked him again. And kicked him again. After two more solid kicks in the gut, she huffed and then turned back to the others.

Han, Leia, and Finn were all just look at her. "What?" She questioned. She pointed up to the sky. "Assholes just committed mass genocide, that gives me an excuse to kick them when they are down." When the stormtrooper began to move beside her, she kicked him again, and this time he just layed there.

* * *

Author's Note: "I need a weapon" and "you have one" is like an awfully hilarious line. Just saying. One of my favorite parts of the whole movie. I also rewatched the movie because this was the first time the plots overlapped and I needed more than just my notes, and I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. AHHHH. I mean I knew I loved it, just forgot how much.

Sneak Peak into Chapter Nine (Do let me know if you hate me more after this Sneak Peak, or more after the one for this chapter, hehehe)

* * *

"Poe?"

"Finn?"

"Poe Dameron, you're alive?"

"Buddy! So are you!"

Seraphine smirked as she walked past the men hug and went to go say hi to BB-8. The little droid was the cutest thing that she had ever seen. And how did he go up and down stairs! (OKAY HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY BB-8 GOES UP AND DOWN STAIRS?) So cute. She glanced back at the reunion just in time to hear,

"That's my jacket." Finn awkward begun to take it off before Poe stopped him. "No, no, no. Keep it. It suits you. You're a good man, Finn."

"Poe, I need your help." Finn commented patting the other man's shoulder.

"Anything, buddy, what can I do for you?" Poe replied concerned.

"My friend, Rey. She helped me save BB-8. The First Order, they have her. We have to save her." Finn explained.

Poe nodded slowly, only imagining that they were doing to the poor girl. Trying not to remember what they had done to him. "I'll see what I can do, buddy."

Finn gestured to Seraphine who was standing by them, still talking to BB-8. "Do you think the Collection Agent you mentioned has any sway with the Generals? She knows them."

Seraphine looked up, surprised she was being mentioned in the conversation. Poe was a Commander, he must have more say then her. Poe looked at her confused as well. He also knew he had more sway, even if Finn didn't, but this brought up something else that he had been wondering about. "Yeah, Seraphine, both General Organa and Han Solo are old friends of yours?"

Seraphine stood up and started to awkwardly sway on her feet. "Yeah, you could say that?" She knew that they would find about it eventually, those that recognized her were already whispering about it.

"You could say what." Poe questioned.

"Wellllllll." She sighed. "You know those ten years that I told you about, or at least sort of barely mentioned. That I moved from place to place and got really close to having a family." Poe nodded. "During that time, well, I kind of went by the name Seraphine Solo."


	9. No Sex and No Fun

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: Mwahahaha, I am an awful human being, and I do apologize. Please don't hate me, all will be explained. Like right now. So yayyyy….._

 _LoveFiction.2017, to answer your question and for anyone else who might be wondering, no I would not describe Poe and Seraphine as "together now." I suppose it depends on what exactly you define as "together now." They are interested in each other, but it is more complicated than that. Because aren't all relationships complicated. I will say their relationship will develop very rapidly from now on._

* * *

 **Chapter Nine - No Sex and Answering Questions Equals No Fun**

"Poe?"

"Finn?"

"Poe Dameron, you're alive?"

"Buddy! So are you!"

Seraphine smirked as she walked past the men hug and went to go say hi to BB-8. The little droid was the cutest thing that she had ever seen. And how did he go up and down stairs! (OKAY HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY BB-8 GOES UP AND DOWN STAIRS?) So cute. She glanced back at the reunion just in time to hear,

"That's my jacket." Finn awkward begun to take it off before Poe stopped him. "No, no, no. Keep it. It suits you. You're a good man, Finn."

"Poe, I need your help." Finn commented patting the other man's shoulder.

"Anything, buddy, what can I do for you?" Poe replied concerned.

"My friend, Rey. She helped me save BB-8. The First Order, they have her. We have to save her." Finn explained.

Poe nodded slowly, only imagining that they were doing to the poor girl. Trying not to remember what they had done to him. "I'll see what I can do, buddy."

Finn gestured to Seraphine who was standing by them, still talking to BB-8. "Do you think the Collection Agent you mentioned has any sway with the Generals? She knows them."

Seraphine looked up, surprised she was being mentioned in the conversation. Poe was a Commander, he must have more say then her. Poe looked at her confused as well. He also knew he had more sway, even if Finn didn't, but this brought up something else that he had been wondering about. "Yeah, Seraphine, both General Organa and Han Solo are old friends of yours?"

Seraphine stood up and started to awkwardly sway on her feet. "Yeah, you could say that?" She knew that they would find about it eventually, those that recognized her were already whispering about it.

"You could say what." Poe questioned.

"Wellllllll." She sighed. "You know those ten years that I told you about, or at least sort of barely mentioned. That I moved from place to place and got really close to having a family." Poe nodded. "During that time, well, I kind of went by the name Seraphine Solo."

"You are their kid!" Poe gasped. He knew about Ben Solo, who now went by Kylo Ren. He only knew that because he had been read into it, it was a huge secret. Most people didn't even know that the General and Han had a kid. He had not been told there was a second one.

"Not exactly." Seraphine shook her head holding her hands up. "I was saved by them. I was in a real shitty spot you know, and they saved me, and then helped raised me. They taught me everything I know and I owe a lot to them. And." She stopped herself suddenly before she looked at the ground. "I don't go by Solo anymore, I don't deserve to. But yah." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal to have been raised by two of the most famous people in the universe. Luke was there once in awhile, but not enough to be counted as a third. But, it wasn't like that for her. They were her saviors and she had failed them.

"You don't deserve it?" Finn slowly asked, confused by her vague answer.

"Come on, boys. That is a conversation for another day. Don't you have a friend to save?" Seraphine laughed and both men ignored her awkward attempt to change the conversation topic, mostly because they knew she was right.

They quickly made their way to the command center, Poe leading, Finn following close behind and Seraphine tagging along mostly because she had nothing better to do.

She had spent so long trying to run away from this war, but it always had a way of dragging her back in. Ben was involved with this mission, and if Ben was involved she was going to be there. He was her problem, not anyone else's. She was the one that had failed him.

She had always hated the First Order. Not just because they had taken Ben from her, but because of all the things they had done to the people. To normal, innocent, people. To people like the force worshipers on Jakku, who had done nothing wrong. They were innocents and they were all murdered. Millions probably died when Hosnian system was destroyed. Not just the New Republic, but also all of those innocent men, women, and children. No one should have a weapon that can do such a thing, and the First Order just kept building them. She had meant what she said when she said it was the Resistance's job to stop the First Order.

It was just time to stop ignoring what was in the back of her head the whole time and finally join the fight with the Resistance.

"General Organa, I am sorry to interrupt." Poe called, catching Leia's attention. "This is Finn. He needs to talk to you."

"And I need to talk to him." Leia replied turning her gaze onto the ex-stormtrooper. "That was incredibly brave what you did. Renouncing the First Order, saving this man's life."

"Thank you ma'am. But a friend of mine was taken prisoner." Finn commented, politely attempting to move the conversation along. Poe glanced over at Seraphine, honestly wondering why she was still here. He thought she hated everything that they dealt with.

"Han told me about the girl." Leia confirmed. "I'm sorry."

Poe turned his attention back to the conversation being held, in order to add in, "Finn's familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system. He worked on the base."

Leia's face light up slightly, "We're desperate for anything you can tell us."

"That is where my friend was taken. I've got to get there fast." Finn confirmed.

"And I will do everything I can to help but first you need to tell us all you know." Leia nodded and Finn agreed.

"I will tell you all that I can."

(Okay so we are leaving the plot of the movie again slightly, but I wanted to include MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD but unfortunately because other stuff need to happen, Poe and Seraphine need to be else where. BUT I AM STILL INCLUDING IT GOD DAMMIT!)

"Don't do that." Leia sighed, shaking her head in disappointment as she begun to walk away. She had really thought she could find her brother, that he was the piece they were missing to win this battle with the First Order. And to start putting her family back together again.

"Do What?" Han replied confused.

"Anything" Leia exclaimed and Han gave C-3PO a look.

C-3PO commented, "Princesses." And Han started after Leia again.

"I am trying to be helpful!" He insisted, following her down the stairs.

Leia scoffed. "When did that ever help, and don't say the death star!"

Han simply moaned.

(#CUTEEEEEEE, literally the cutest thing I have ever seen and my favorite thing in the whole wide world. I dream of being a writer who writes something as iconic like this. Welp, now back to your written program (get it? Cause it's not televised and I think I am clever even though I really am not, enjoy [smirks])

While Finn was providing the command center with all of the information he knew, Poe went to go figure something out that had been bothering him. He most likely would be given a very important mission soon, and he needed his mind to focus on that. Distractions would get him and his men killed. And she was a distraction.

Seraphine had been avoiding his eye contact after her confession that she had been raised by the Solo's and had darted away pretty quickly once the conversation with the General ended. She was avoiding him, and that was bothering him. Because there were multiple reasons that she was avoiding them, and one of them was his fault.

He managed to catch up to her, and grabbed her arm, to lead the way. Seraphine started to protest but stopped when he gave her a look. She sighed and simply dragged her heels, literally, making it a lot harder for him to pull her to his room.

He opened the door and went inside, she shoved her hands into her pockets and followed him. "We need to talk."

"About what." Seraphine replied, glancing around his rather bare apartment. It was just two rooms, a bathroom and a larger room, but the larger one was split half into his bedroom and half into a living area. "That ridiculous bright orange jumpsuit you are wearing? Cause if so, I agree, you should change the color. To literally anything else." Poe shook his head. "Oh about the fact that you kissed me." She glanced back at him. "It's chill. I am used to it. I am absolutely gorgeous." She continued with a hint of sarcasm at the end.

Poe shook his head again. "That's not what we need to talk about."

Seraphine threw herself onto his couch and made herself comfortable. "Oh, so you don't want to fuck me?"

Poe winced at her rather blunt response and refused to let his mind go there. He could still taste her on his lips, and yeah, he would really love to taste her again. But now was not the time. Something had been bothering Seraphine, and she had helped him enough that he owed her the favor. Besides, she really needed to learn how to make friends. "You stopped yourself earlier. You wanted to say something, and it's obviously bothering you."

Seraphine pouted. "I don't want to talk about it."

"We need to." Poe insisted, sitting down in the chair from across her.

Seraphine sat up and looked at him with a tilted head. Poe subconsciously licked his lips, and Seraphine begun to smile widely. "No we don't. We can do whatever we want to. And I don't think you want to talk." She stood up and walked over to where he was, Poe carefully watching every step she took. She climbed into his chair, making it so she was almost sitting in his lap, her knees on the chair forcing his legs together and her head was slightly above his. She leaned into whisper in his ear, "we can do whatever we want," repeating her own words from earlier.

Poe closed his eyes to make it easier for him to not focus on what she was doing. Or how close she was. Or how pretty she looked. Or how he could feel her breathe against his neck and it made shivers go up his spine. Or anything like that. Anything about her. It would be so easy to give in. To just let his desire win, but no. This needed to happen. And it needed to happen now. "Well, I want to talk." Seraphine hissed, and then bit his ear. "Ow!" Poe exclaimed, but when he opened his eyes, she was no longer there and already making her way to the couch. "Seraphine?"

"You want to talk, we will talk. Whatever. Ask away, I am an open book. I won't tell a lie, you get 10 questions." She flopped on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

"Why the change of heart?" Poe asked, shifting in his seat in an attempt to get rid of a annoying disturbance. If she had seen it, she didn't comment on it.

Seraphine shrugged. "I'm joining the Resistance, gonna make those First Order assholes pay. Do I have to fill out paperwork or anything, for that? To answer your question, I figure that if I join the ranks I am going to be stuck having you pester me until I answer your questions. I've heard legends of how stubborn you are." She sat up slightly too look him straight in the eye. "That being said if a word of this leaves this room, I will make your life so physically painful you will wish I left you to die on Jakku. Do you understand?"

"Understood." Poe confirmed crossing his arms and running over the things he wanted to ask.

"Chill." Seraphine flumped back onto the sofa. "Nine questions."

"What?"

"You had ten questions, and now you have used up two. Eight questions." Seraphine stated.

Poe simply sighed. He figured fighting her would just end up with him losing more questions, and simply be a waste of time. And she considered him to be stubborn? "What did the General save you from?"

"Hell."

"That doesn't count as an answer." Poe corrected, running his hand through his hair. He had let it get too long, but he never had any time to cut it. He never had time to do anything. He didn't even really have time to be doing this now, but it was something that needed to be done. He need a question answered before he left, a question that had been bothering him for awhile.

"I am from Talali. Talali is a planet that choose to cut itself off from the outside world, completely run on slavery." Seraphine replied looking at her nails even though she didn't really care that much about them. She just knew where this story was going, and she prefered not to be looking at him while it did. She knew what he wanted to know, but she still didn't want to answer it. She didn't want to think about it.

Why was it so fucking hard for the past to remain the past?

"So you were a slave?" Poe asked, crossing his arms and watching her carefully.

Seraphine sighed, "Not exactly, I was a Doll.

"A doll?"

"Talali was built on slavery, but the slaves started to get smart. They knew that rebellion after rebellion had been crushed, but they swore to have no children of theirs be slaves like them." She glanced at Poe, but looked back at the ceiling after seeing how intently he was watching her. "Unknown to their master's, they committed mass castration on themselves. No new children were born. And when the old slaves died off, the citizens of Talali begun to panic. Their whole philosophy was that others were less than them, and then they were only left with each other."

"That is awful." Poe muttered, his face twisting and his stomach turning. People like that they made him physically ill. It was almost always the people in power, the people who felt like they deserved everything. The people that felt like they deserved more than everyone else. The people who felt like they were better than everyone else. People like that were barely people.

"It's disgusting. It goes completely against everything I believe in, but that is because I spent the first 12 years living on Talali as a Doll, as less than a person. As less than a slave." Knowing that Poe was probably giving her a look of confusion, but still staring up at the ceiling, she explained, "You see, when they were running out of slaves, they developed a new program. Using technology they had gotten from outside worlds they were able to create beings however whatever they wanted. With genetics they were able to make the men twice as strong but dumb as a rock. And the women they were able to make look exactly how they wanted."

"What do you mean?" Poe questioned slowly.

Seraphine sat up and looked at him. She pointed to her face."Well, so my features, they don't make sense. They were picked from different gene pools because that is what my master's wanted. So individually they look fine, but if you look at them all together they don't quite seem right. Because they can't occur naturally, I wasn't born. I was made. They called people like me Dolls, and the dumb ones were Mules. Mules did physical labor, and Dolls, well, we just sat there and looked pretty or what ever else they wanted us to do."

Poe didn't understand what she was talking about. Well, he understood that they messed with genetics, but he didn't understand the comment about her face. Her features went perfectly together, she was perfect. That didn't make him feel any less sick. "Who were your masters?"

Seraphine shrugged and looked down at her feet. "I don't know their names. I blocked out their faces from my mind. They had a daughter, her name was Maikua, and she was three years older than me. I was bought to be her doll, more than theirs, so she would dress me up and drag me around to show all her friends. Their family was really wealthy, everyone had Dolls and Mules, but no kids did and she loved all the attention on her. And I was supposed to just stay silent and follow her around. If I cried, they didn't even hide the bruises. But I was lucky."

"How?" How the fuck was this lucky? How after all of this is she still able to smile the little that she did? How is she so nonchalant about this? He wished he could go back in time and wring the necks of of those who did this to her. She was innocent. She didn't deserve that, no one deserved that. Was this the reason behind the sadness in her eyes?

Seraphine shrugged and shifted awkwardly. She could feel his gaze and she wanted to leave. But she had promised him ten questions and he had two more."Twelve was too young to be my master's type. That's what the rest of the girls at the house had to do, but they were all older than me. So I was just a child's doll. Besides, I didn't know better. None of us did, no one told us that we deserved more so we didn't even consider that we did."

Poe sat there silently, thinking, and Seraphine shifted awkwardly again. She glanced up at him and was surprised. She had expected for him to look at her disgusted. Like she was less than him, like the abomination she was. But he didn't look disgusted, he looked mad. His hands were in tight fists and shaking slightly, and he looked like he wanted to put a hole in the wall. Slowly Poe asked, trying to remain as calm as he could. "How was the Republic okay with this?"

Seraphine shook her head and corrected his incorrect assumption. "They weren't, not really. Talali wasn't part of the New Republic, not at first at least. It had little to no contact with the outside world, until it got scared of the First Order's and other people's growing power. Since interest was being paid to them for the first time, they ran to Republic for protection. The Republic has laws against slavery, and Talali was able to get away from it because legally we were classified as Dolls and Mules. So they honestly thought we were toys and animals. No one came around asking questions, so they got away with it for a little bit."

"And the General figured it out?" Poe asked, slowly releasing his hands in an attempt to release the anger boiling in his soul. She didn't deserve that. No one deserved that.

Seraphine nodded slowly, watching Poe's motions. "The Solos did, yeah. All of them, they were a little suspicious. A lot of stuff on Talali didn't add up for them, so they found an excuse to vacation there to investigate. When they found out the truth, they freed us. All of us. They took me under their wing because I helped them prove it, and gave me a name. I had never had one of those before, Maikua tended to change what she called me based on her mood. Ben said I was as beautiful as an Angel, and I had a fire in my eye. So that is what he decided to call me."

"Seraphine. Fiery Angel." Poe replied. As much as he hated, no hate was too light of a word, despised Kylo Ren, he did have to admit the name was fitting. She was beautiful, and the fire in her eye was one that kept on burning. It was one that kept her going.

He had asked many questions, but he hadn't asked the one that he wanted too. He hadn't asked her the question that had been bothering him. She knew too much about Kylo Ren's victims from the beginning, and it turns out she has known him for years? He hadn't asked the question that he wanted too.

And Seraphine knew this.

She sighed and pulled her legs up into her chest. "You are out of questions, but I know that is not the question you really have been wanting to ask. Just ask it."  
"How close were you to Ben Solo?"

She looked up at him and looked him in the eye for the first time since the conversation had started. He was able to see the fire for which she was named for. "He was my savior and my everything. He walked me out of my hell and I wasn't able to stop him from walking into his. Everything he's done, everyone he's hurt, it's my fault. And that includes you."

"How is it your fault?"

Seraphine stood up. "You've had your ten questions, Dameron. So unless you want to have some fun, I suggest we get back. You have a mission to complete." She walked out of the room and Poe simply watched her go.

He didn't know what he had expected. People like him, people like them, they never have happy backstories. He just hadn't expected, well, that. He had hoped she had had a happy childhood, that she was surrounded by love and white picket fences. He should have known better.

He just couldn't understand how she could possibly blame herself. Everyone's actions are their own, and you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. He wished he could tell her the words that would make it all better but he knew it wouldn't matter if she wouldn't listen. Words did no good when they were falling on deaf ears.

He wished he could fix her, but he knew better. He was too broken himself to even a imagine a life where he was fixed. Picket fences and happy laughs were not something he was meant to be surrounded with. He lived his life this way so others didn't have too.

He closed his eyes and he could hear the screams.

He would never be able to escape the screams.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Oh? Did you think by my smirk that something was going to happen? HAHAHA no, because I am a piece of trash. Next chapter you will get an hint. And then after all shit goes down, well there will be a wholeeeee tonnnn of fun stuff._

 _Sneak Peak into Chapter Ten_

* * *

When the reconnaissance mission returned, he had to go back for work. He had tried to find Seraphine after she had left, but she seemed to purposefully avoiding him. Again. So he headed to the meeting, and tried his best to push all other thoughts out of his mind. It wasn't working too well. He was still tasting her lips, and he could still hear his screams no matter how hard he focused on anything else. He need a mission. He need a purpose. He need something to set him straight.

He focused on the data in front of him, that he had to present. "The scan data from the from Snap's reconnaissance flight confirms Finn's report."

Temmin "Snap" Wexley further exclaimed. "They've somehow created a hyper-lightspeed weapon built within the planet itself." Poe's eyes turned moved off of the other pilot when he noticed Seraphine sneak into the back of the room. She sulked in, and crossed her arms remaining in the shadows.

Taslin Brance asked, "A laser cannon?" Poe kept his eyes on Seraphine, still paying attention to Tas, but when she looked at him he maintained the eye contact. She tilted her head and looked at him strangely, maintaining eye contact for the first time since she had met him.

Poe swallowed, suddenly having a feeling that she was looking straight through him. That she was aware of a truth even he did not know.


	10. Not In Season Yet

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: I AM SORRY, I JUST FINISHED FINALS SO THESE LAST TWO WEEKS HAVE BEEN STRESSFUL. Hopefully I will be able to resume my normal schedule again._

 _So a ton of the people in this following scene are named but not in the movie, so I am going to refer to them as they were in the credits. It is kind of confusing if you don't know all of their backstories but they will be included at the bottom from Wiki (I am a freak and know way too much about the extended universe), so bare with me and hopefully you all remember the scene from the movie._

 _ **NAME CHANGE ALERT**_ _: I have changed the name from "For an Angel's Broken Heart" to "Someone Take Me Home." The title is inspired by a song: Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha – Home. It a song I love, and was listening to while I was writing this chapter and realized how well it fit. So yah. :) _

* * *

**Chapter Ten** \- **Lemons and Limes Are My Favorite Fruits But They Aren't Quite In Season Yet**

When the reconnaissance mission returned, he had to go back for work. He had tried to find Seraphine after she had left, but she seemed to purposefully avoiding him. Again. So he headed to the meeting, and tried his best to push all other thoughts out of his mind. It wasn't working too well. He was still tasting her lips, and he could still hear his screams no matter how hard he focused on anything else. His mind was a whirly mess that he couldn't make sense of, and he hated it. He need a mission. He need a purpose. He need something to set him straight.

He needed something to fix him.

He focused on the data in front of him, that he had to present. "The scan data from the from Snap's reconnaissance flight confirms Finn's report."

Temmin "Snap" Wexley further exclaimed. "They've somehow created a hyper-lightspeed weapon built within the planet itself." Poe's eyes moved off of the other pilot when he noticed Seraphine sneak into the back of the room. She sulked in, and crossed her arms remaining in the shadows. He barely could make her out, but it was as if she was all he could see.

Taslin Brance asked, "A laser cannon?" Poe kept his eyes on Seraphine, still paying attention to Tas's words, but when she looked at him he maintained the eye contact. She tilted her head and looked at him strangely, maintaining true eye contact for the first time since she had met him. Before she had always looked away, no matter who it was. She would shift awkwardly, rub her arm, and do whatever she could to avoid it. But she was looking right back into his eyes.

Poe swallowed, suddenly having a feeling that she was looking straight through him. That she was aware of a truth even he did not know. Snap shook his head, "We're not sure how to describe a weapon of this scale." The words were almost lost to Poe's ears. All he could see was her.

"It's another death star." Caluan Ematt muttered, drawing Poe's attention from the collection agent back to the man who recruited him to join the Resistance. He forced himself to focus, to look away, to focus. He had a mission. He needed a mission. He could still hear the screams. He needed his mission.

Poe sighed and started to adjust items on the hologram. "I wish that was the case, Major. This was the Death Star. And this is Starkiller Base."

The crowd gasped and even Seraphine's mouth dropped open, staring at that screen. It was huge, it was unthinkable. Unbeatable. There was no way the Resistance was going to win this. The Rebellion had barely blown up the Death Star all those years ago, and she was pretty sure the Rebellion was better staffed and had more firepower than the Resistance. How had the First Order even built such a thing? How did they even come up with such a thing?

Why did her universe have to be so obsessed with war?

Why was her universe so obsessed with death?

So much death.

So much pain.

Too much.

When would it all end?

Han simply shrugged, "So it's big."

"How is it possible to power a weapon of that size." Admiral Gial Ackbar questioned shaking his head in marvel.

Finn jumped in to explain, "It uses the power of the sun. As the weapon is charged, the sun is drained until it disappears.

"Ma'am." A officer softly commented before handing the General a new piece of material.

Leia took a deep breath before altering the rest of the group. "The First Order, they're charging the weapon again now. Our system is the next target." The crowd murmured in shock and despair. As the conversation begun to focus on how to destroy the weapon, Seraphine stopped paying attention. She had never been good at this stuff, planning and strategies. Both her and Ben had taken lessons in it, and while Ben loved it, she found boring, it involved too much thinking. She had always prefered to handle things on her own, in a hand to hand fight, or to avoid to confrontation completely.

She liked what she could control.

She liked to be alone.

That way she didn't have to worry about anyone else safety. That way she didn't have to feel the guilt if people had died because the orders were bad, or with the presumption that soldiers are expendable. That as long as the battle is won, the deaths along the way didn't matter. This way she only had to watch her own back and wouldn't have anyone else's death on her shoulders. She couldn't take anymore.

She wasn't meant to be a leader.

She cared too much about whether others lived and died.

What she cared about was the fact that there was going to be a team going down to the planet's surface. What she cared about was that Ben was probably going to be there. What she cared about was saving Ben from the darkness he had found himself in. Just as he had for her.

"All right, let's go." Poe called and the group scattered to go run off and prepare for the upcoming battle. He started to leave the room, finally feeling focused, when a voice caused him to stop in his tracks.

"Han, I am coming." Seraphine commented slowly and Han looked at the young woman before nodding slowly.

Poe was numb. He had a mission, he was going to go blow up the planet, but how could he do that if she was on it? It was a suicide mission, both of their missions were, and there was a high chance that neither of them were ever going to return. It was too dangerous, she was innocent. It was too dangerous. She shouldn't be there.

He had a mission, why was this bothering him so much? He had a mission and he was going to complete it, why was this bothering him? Why was he thinking about the life of one woman rather than the life of all his men and all of his friends? All of the people important to him?

He hadn't even known her for a week and his mission was to protect his men. He would do anything for his men, he would complete his mission. He would blow up that planet, even if she was on it.

But he had full intentions of not letting her be.

When she finished her hushed conversation with Han, and started to leave the room, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into one of the side areas. When the door closed they were left in silence, and for a moment the panic and movement outside was forgotten.

"What the fuck, Dameron?" She swore bitterly throwing her arms up, but Poe simply stood between her and the door with his arms crossed. She wasn't going on this mission.

"You aren't going, it's too dangerous." He replied, keeping his tone low, using the voice he used to issue orders. She was not going on this mission.

"You don't own me, Dameron. You don't fucking control me." Seraphine shouted loudly, her hands rather quickly forming into fists.

Poe closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had used the wrong tone, the wrong words, and with her background this could end very badly. He did not control her. No. He just wanted her to safe. That is all he wanted. For her to be safe. With his eyes still closed he softly replied, "I am not trying to control you, Seraphine. I am trying to keep you safe."

Seraphine took a step towards him and Poe opened his eyes. "I ain't some fucking damsel in distress, pretty boy, I don't need saving. I can take care of myself."

Poe shook his head. "It's a suicide mission."

"So is yours! Look at you, you barely have any pilots or fighters, Dameron. You have barely a percent of their firepower, no matter how you look at it, you are going to die." Seraphine shoot back.

"I believe we can do it!" Poe replied with the fake confidence he always portrayed. He didn't. He didn't at all. He expected to die every time he took off, and he didn't know how he hadn't yet.

He had lost so many good men, so many good friends to that fake confidence and suicide mission orders. Maybe it was finally his time to not come back, and if he saved everyone else how could he possibly regret that? Maybe it was his time to die, but he still had a mission to complete. And he just wanted her to be safe.

"Then your concussion was worse than the doctors thought and you have officially lost your mind." Seraphine replied. During their conversation she had been moving closer to the pilot and now they were almost on top of each other. She glared at the man. "Get outta my way."

"No."

"Dameron, get the fuck out of my way."

"No." Poe repeated.

The two of them simply looked at each other.

"You know just how bad things are, that we are are going to die. Most likely all of us at the hands of the First Order." Seraphine half-whispered, tilting her head up slightly to look into Poe's eyes.

"That's why we have to stop them." Poe replied, matching her volume. He felt like she was looking into his soul again, that she was seeing things that he didn't want her too. She was innocent and he ruined everything he touched. He was too tainted, his hands had too much blood on them. So many people had died because of him, he didn't deserve anything. He deserved to not land again.

And she was seeing this. The inner turmoil within his eyes. His dark brown eyes just looked empty. Just looked tired. He was done. He was hurting. And she knew it was probably Ben's fault. It was probably her fault. It was all her fault.

"You are going to die." Seraphine slowly started and Poe's face begun to show what his eyes were. He was breaking, he wasn't able to keep up that fake confidence he did for his men. Not in front of her.

His voice begun to crack as he managed to croak out, "I know. But I have to stop them."

Seraphine eyes darted all over his face and slowly her hand reached up to cradle his cheek. Her hand was so cold, and he slightly sank into. Just like it had before, he could concentrate on it. Concentrate on her. And slowly everything else began to go away.

They were both right, the other's mission was a suicide mission. They probably weren't going to survive this. They probably were going to die and the First Order would succeed and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

And if they were going to die, didn't they have to do their best to live with no regrets?

Neither of them knew who moved first, but one second they were looking in each other's eyes and the next their lips were together. Neither of them intended this, but when their brains caught up to their actions, they couldn't stop.

She tasted like what he could only describe as heaven and it made his head spin.

He tasted like honey, far sweeter than she thought she would ever deserve.

As he lowered his hands to her back and pulled her in closer to him he could feel as if there were sparks jumping off his fingers. Every touch made his heart beat faster, every second just made him want more.

She felt like she couldn't breath, but she didn't care because she did not want too. When she was with him, even from the moment since he first spoke to her she knew something she didn't want to admit. That she could feel something, something that she had never felt before. Something she thought she was far too broken too.

When they finally pulled away from each other in order to breath, they kept their eyes locked and stayed close. Seraphine's hands were both on Poe's neck, her fingers in his hair and behind his ears. He closed his eyes and took a breath. When he reopened them, there was a fire burning in them.

She barely caught the movement and the next thought her brain processed, he had hosted her up so her legs were around his hips. When her back slammed against the door she let out a short laugh, and then met his lips, matching his fire.

When they were together, they were focused just on each other. Their minds weren't stuck in thoughts that they did not want to be having, their past was not haunting them, placing weight on the shoulders. When they were together they were free.

As their tongues battled, Poe's brain melted and Seraphine felt like she was on fire. That every part of her was burning, but oh how she wanted more. Her hands moved up from his neck in order to sink into his hair and Poe gripped her hips tighter in response. She had to hold back a moan when this caused them to get a whole lot closer. So close. Yet way to much material between them.

She might have held back the moan but Poe noticed the way she stiffened. When he snickered he got a response of a bite to the lip, which as much as he was surprised to admit it, simply turned him on more.

And it was pretty easy for her to tell that.

Eventually reality caught up with them. It had too. They had a mission, they both did. They could only be lost with each other for so long before they remembered they had to go and save the universe. Slowly they pulled back, keeping their foreheads against each other as they tried to remember how to breathe.

Seraphine dropped to the floor, but kept her hands on Poe's face and lowered him down with her. She gave him a light kiss, a sweeter kiss. "I'm sorry. I have to go save Ben."

And with that she was gone.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Like I said I was in finals season and spent most of my time studying, but I really do love this story and all of you for all of the support. Thank you!_

 _The following characters are NOT OCs and are part of the existing Star Wars universe, more information can be found on the character's WIKI pages as this is where most of the info was collected from:_

 _Temmin "Snap" Wexley is a pilot and the leader of the the Blue Squadron and a member of the Black Squadron. He is portrayed in the movie by Greg Grunberg._

 _Taslin Brance is a major in the resistance and also the one who had the unfortunate pleasure of letting everyone know of the destruction of Hosnian Prime. He is portrayed by Emun Elliott._

 _Caluan Ematt is a lieutenant (referred to as Major within the film) who was a member of both the Rebellion (Alliance to Restore the Republic) and the Resistance and is a friend of General Organa. He is portrayed by Andrew Jack in the latest movie. Andrew Jack primarily worked as a language coach for a large group of the cast, including Daisy Ridley._

 _Admiral Gial Ackbar is a admiral who has served as a revolutionary soldier in the Clone Wars, the Galactic Civil War (the Rebellion), the Cold War, and the Resistance. Basically a badass who fought for 60 years. In both his original appearance (Return of the Jedi) and his latest (Force Awakens), he is puppeted by Tim Rose and voiced by Erik Bauersfeld. He is most known for the famous line "It's a trap!" Erik Bauersfeld has unfortunately since passed away at age 93, after a wonderful career in the radio._

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Eleven_

* * *

He focused on his mission and she focused on hers. It was easier that way. Neither knew if they would even see each other again, as war tended to be that way. War was cruel to all who it touched, and they had both lost enough to not expect anything different. They both left that room and never looked back, their minds clear for the first time in a long time. They knew what they had to do.

The Resistance Base was very busy, Seraphine ducking around the people running around her as she walked towards the Falcon. She remembered the inside of that ship like the back of her hand, but she still struggled to take the first step onto the ramp. When she had been on this ship, there had been so many happy memories. She had been so young, she hadn't known any better. So much had changed. It had been too long.

She could hear Han and Chewie moving around as they prepared for the trip. She could almost hear the laughter of a boy and a woman among them, she could almost see his black hair as he ran past her. So much had changed, and yet it was still almost here. It was almost like she could see it, she could hear it, she could taste it, she could feel it. Her heart screamed for it to be real.

It was almost like everything that had happened had been a dream, an awful nightmare, that she was still a kid again, that Ben was still here. That everything was okay and she had a family again. It was almost like she was home, a home that hadn't been hers for a long time. It was almost like she was safe, a feeling she could barely remember.

Finn rushed past her onto the ship, snapping her attention back to the present.

She had a mission. She needed to save him. She needed to save Ben.

And she would do anything she had to in order to.

For the past was the past, and there was nothing she could do to change that. No matter how bad she wanted too, she would never be able to go back to that time. To the time where everything was alright. It was gone, and it had barely been hers to hold onto.

But there future was still up in the air. And she could still ave him. NO matter what happened to her along the way.

She didn't matter.

Only he did.

She had failed to save him the first time.

She would not fail again.


	11. A Mission, A Purpose, A Heartbeat

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language (kind of.. Not really in this chapter, but more overall.)_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: HAHAHA so remember when I said I hoped to be better with updating. Yeah. Awkward. I have for sure not had this fully written for a week and completely forgot to post it. Anyway thank you all so much for your continued support. ALSO I SAW THE LAST JEDI AND LOVEEEDDDDD ITTTTTTT. I hope you all did too. As always, your reviews mean the world to me, and let's all get through this semester together. Enjoy!_

 _Also, I don't really do this, but song of the chapter: NF - Let You Down_

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven - A Mission, A Purpose, A Heartbeat: Whatever It Takes To Keep You Moving**

He focused on his mission and she focused on hers. It was easier that way. Neither knew if they would even see each other again, as war tended to be that way. War was cruel to all who it touched, and they had both lost enough to not expect anything different. They both left that room and tried to never looked back, their minds clear for the first time in a long time. They knew what they had to do.

They had a mission.

They had a purpose.

They had a mission.

Nothing else mattered.

The Resistance Base was busy, Seraphine ducking around the people running around her as she walked slowly towards the Falcon. She remembered the inside of that ship like the back of her hand, but she still struggled to take the first step onto its ramp. When she had last been on this ship, there had been so many happy memories. She had been so young, she hadn't known any better. She hadn't know how cruel the world could be. Not really. So much had changed. It had been too long.

She could hear Han and Chewie moving around as they prepared for the trip. She could almost hear the laughter of a boy and a woman among them, she could almost see his black hair as he ran past her. So much had changed, and yet, somehow, it was still almost here. It was almost like she could see it, she could hear it, she could taste it, she could feel it. Her heart screamed for it to be real.

It was almost like everything that had happened had been a bad dream, an awful nightmare, that she was still a kid again, that Ben was still here. That everything was okay and she had a family again. It was almost like she was home, a home that hadn't been hers for a long time. It was almost like she was safe, a feeling she could barely remember.

But the past was filled with nothing more than dark memories and dull blades that struck her mind and her heart no matter how far she tried to run away. She had run to the edges of the universe and she had still ended up back here. Looking at this ship and thinking of him. She had tried so hard to push that all down, but here it was. The pain bubbling back to the surface again.

And there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

She couldn't breathe.

Finn rushed past her off the ship, snapping her attention back to the present.

She had a mission. She needed to save him. She needed to save Ben.

And she would do anything she had to in order to.

For the past was the past, and there was nothing she could do to change that. No matter how bad she wanted too, she would never be able to go back to that time. To the time where everything was alright. It was gone, and it had barely been hers to hold onto.

But there future was still up in the air. And she could still save him. NO matter what happened to her along the way.

She didn't matter.

Only he did.

She had failed to save him the first time.

She would not fail again.

Yet she was just unable to take that first step. That stupid fucking first step. She felt like her body was frozen, and she couldn't move. This was the reason she had left in the first place, she had never been able to handle the ghosts that haunted her.

She wasn't nearly as strong as people seemed to think she was.

She couldn't breathe, with every breath she took it was another dull blade being slammed into her chest.

And she knew she had to take that first step, no matter how much her body and mind protested her. And protested her, her mind did. It screamed, run, run, run. Run away like she always had.

But she had been running for far too long and she had a mistake she needed to fix. It was all her fault.

She heard Han when he came down the ramp and quickly pretended to be doing something with her bag. To be doing anything. To not just be standing there haunted by the past. What she had gone through was nothing compared to him. She had lost her best friend. He had lost his son. Her pain was nothing compared to his. She didn't deserve the comfort he would attempt to offer.

"Chewie, check that donal capitator." Han ordered, and Seraphine continued to fish around in her bag, making a mental checklist of what she did have and what she would need to return to the black market in order to replace. "Come on, let's go." He added, "Finn, be careful with those. They're explosives!" His warning came just after Finn had dropped a number of them.

"Now you tell me." Finn complained and Seraphine could not help but let out a empty laugh, and turned around to help the ex-stormtrooper clean up everything he had dropped and put them back into their boxes.

"You know, no matter how much we fought," Leia commented and Seraphine looked up to glance at the two of her almost parents talk. "I've always hated watching you leave."

"That's why I did it." Han replied with his signature smirk, "So you'd miss me."

Finn carried the next box into the Falcon, completely unbothered by the conversation and Seraphine quickly started to make her exit.

She had always felt like she didn't fit into the personal conversations between people. She couldn't relate to them, and even when people asked for advice she never knew what to tell them. She had never been really good with people and emotions, and all that stuff. She had grown up being told to show nothing, to feel nothing, to be nothing. So even as much as she eavesdropped she tried to avoid these conservations. Especially between the two of them. They had fought all the time, but there was still a lot of love there. She didn't really understand it. And she knew if they saw her, they would bring her into the conversation, something she didn't want to happen.

Not when she had no intention on coming back.

She stared across the green of D'Qar. It was like super overly green, it was kind of odd actually. At least it was much better than Jakku. It looked peaceful and it was. If you ignored the chaos behind her.

There was just so much beauty in the universe. That was the first thing she learned when she left Talli, just how beautiful everything and everyone was. She had never even dreamed of it, but here it was in front her. Simply perfect, so simple yet so beautiful.

And chances are all this beauty would be destroyed.

That all the beauty in the universe would be destroyed.

Why did everyone have to be so obsessed with power and war?

Why did everyone always want more?

Nothing ever seemed to be enough you know. While she was perfectly content with just chilling aboard her ship and only working when she needed the money to eat, others were always trying to move forward with their lives. Working towards something, to be more rich, to be more powerful, to be more known. And many could care less about how it affected the people around them. The people they both knew and didn't. All that mattered was what they thought their purpose was.

She hated people.

And yet she loved them.

She loved their complexity, no matter even if she would never really understand it. She loved to watch people, to see them, to see their emotions that she felt like she never felt quite right. They were all so different, and yet so similar at the same time. Everyone felt happiness, and sadness. Jealousy, anger, love, humor, and so many other things to feel. It was all so complex. And she loved it.

She just disliked getting close to them. Because she would always knew she would end up getting hurt in the end. She always had.

It is hard to get hurt when you are all alone.

Once you get used to the loneliness.

"Kid, let's go!" Han shouted as he jogged into the Falcon, leaving Leia to watch him go.

"Coming." Seraphine replied, ripping away her gaze across the green.

She had a job, she had a mission, she had a purpose. And yet as she walked towards the Falcon, she still didn't know if she could force herself to take that first step. Leia smiled at her slightly before turning and leaving, heading back to her command. She hadn't been on the Falcon since Ben left. She didn't know why it was haunting her so bad.

"Seraphine!" A voice shouted behind her and Seraphine moaned under her breath. So much for leaving him behind and focusing on the mission. Why did he always over complicated things? She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. She didn't understand everything she was feeling and she blamed it all on him. Her mind was a jumbled mess and ugh. She didn't like it.

The pilot jogged up to her in that hideous orange jumpsuit. "I don't have much time, but I know I can't stop you. I just want to know if you are safe, and well" Poe commented, talking faster than he normally would, and glancing behind him as he did. He grabbed her right hand and slipped something onto her middle finger. "I know you might think it is kind of stupid, but they were my parents, and they let you feel someone else's heartbeat even if it is completely across the galaxy. I just need to know if you are safe. So yeah."

He glanced behind him again, and added quickly. "I really need to go." He quickly kissed her lightly on the cheek and with that was gone.

"What the fuck?" Seraphine muttered, glancing at the ring that now rested on her hand. She glanced back up at the Pilot who was jogging back to his fighter. "Dameron!" She shouted, causing the pilot to almost stumble when he turned around. "Don't die." The man simply waved and then continued on.

Seraphine slowly turned back to the Falcon, looking at her hand. She could feel it.

His heartbeat.

It was speed up, not surprising due to his running and his adrenaline, but it was oddly relaxing. It was oddly comforting. It was like he was right there, standing next to her and she didn't understand why she liked that.

She took a deep breath and focused on it.

She did think it was stupid, but it calmed the meddled mess of her mind. The ghosts, they were gone, as she felt her own heartbeat jump to match his. She wasn't lost in the past, but focusing on now. Her mission, her purpose, and his heartbeat.

She took a deep breath.

She took the first step.

And the rest just continued after that.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Okay, I know short chapter, but I just wanted to get you guys something and I will hopefully have the next one up real soon! It is already about halfway done, so that's good news. Again, thank you so much for your continued support it really means a lot! I hope with all of your help I can finish this story that I do really like. As always, please let me know what you think!_

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Twelve_

* * *

Seraphine sat in the cockpit of the Falcon slowly strapping piece after piece of her stupid armor. Stupid thing might work amazingly for protection but it sure was a pain in the ass to get on. It protected her from even blasters and allowed her to move, but was expensive as hell and had five hundred different pieces and straps. At least she was almost done.

"So how are we getting in?" Finn asked, leaning over Chewie's shoulder. Seraphine looked at him surprised. Had they not talked about this when she wasn't paying attention? They had a plan. Right?

"Their shields have a fractional refresh rate. Keeps anything traveling slower than lightspeed from getting through." Han explained, hitting some of his controls as he did.

"Oh no." Seraphine muttered, quickly stopping the work on the last pieces of armor on her arm to strap herself in as best as she could to her seat. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

The ex-stormtrooper quickly came to the same conclusion as Seraphine and exclaimed, "We are making our landing approach at lightspeed?"

Chewie simply roared and Finn quickly started to strap himself in as well.

"Chewie, get ready!" Han called, his hand tightening its grip. "And. Now!"

And suddenly there was land right in front of them.


	12. You Are The Reason

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: Megan's been writing, Megan should be doing her Anatomy homework, but Megan doesn't feel like it so chapter yayyyy! Also I rather like this song of the chapter thing now, since I've always written with music I figured I should share it with you all! So please, if you come across anything that you think fits with this story as well, share it with me!_

 _Songs of the Chapter: Calum Scott - You Are The Reason_

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve - You Are The Reason I Will Fight To Survive**

Seraphine sat in the cockpit of the Falcon slowly strapping piece after piece of her stupid ass armor on. Damn thing might work amazingly for protection but it sure was a pain in the ass to get on. Sometimes she wondered if it was worth getting hurt, and you know maybe dying, just to save her all the time she wastes on it. She had only needed it, what a dozen times? It protected her from even blasters and allowed her to move, but was expensive as hell and had five hundred different pieces and straps. At least she was almost done.

"So how are we getting in?" Finn asked, leaning over Chewie's shoulder. Seraphine looked at him surprised. Had they not talked about this when she wasn't paying attention? They had a plan. Right?

"Their shields have a fractional refresh rate. Keeps anything traveling slower than lightspeed from getting through." Han explained, hitting some of his controls as he did.

"Oh no." Seraphine muttered, quickly stopping the work on the last pieces of armor on her arm to strap herself in as best as she could to her seat. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

The ex-stormtrooper quickly came to the same conclusion as the collection agent and exclaimed, "We are making our landing approach at lightspeed?"

Chewie simply roared and Finn quickly started to strap himself in as well.

"Chewie, get ready!" Han shouted, his hand tightening its grip. "And. Now!"

And suddenly there was land.

Right in front of them.

Chewie roared, and Seraphine's hands tightened on the edge of her seat.

"I am pulling up!" Han shouted back and they all slammed forward as they came crashing through the trees. Chewie roared in protest again and Han shoot back, "If I get any higher they'll see us!"

Finn, who was holding on for dear life, gave Seraphine a horrified look as she started to laugh. They burst through the woods, and begun to skid along the snow, rocks and ice getting thrown around in all directions. They slammed against some rocks and finally came to a skidding stop, everyone slamming back into their seats as they did.

The cockpit was eerily silent as the Falcon began to creak around them. Then Seraphine began to loudly and widely laugh, a huge small across her face and the others began to chuckle as well.

They were alive.

Somehow.

(about 50000000000 steps later, give or take most of them)

Seraphine had come to the conclusion that she hated snow just as much as she hated sand. If not more. She honestly didn't know which was worse, she just knew that she really fucking hated both.

She was freezing, as she pulled her large coat tighter to herself. How Finn hadn't frozen his ass off in that thin leather jacket was beyond her, but she was freezing. And couldn't feel her toes. Or her fingers. Or her nose. Or really anything this planet.

She fucking hated snow. Why did anyone live on this cursed planet? Or moon? Or base? Or whatever this stupid thing was?

Then she felt a shiver down her spine. A shiver not related to the cold.

He was here.

She stopped dead in her tracks, ignoring the others that continued to run towards their destination.

He was here.

And then he wasn't.

She quickly turned around, looking in all directions. She couldn't feel him anymore, how was she supposed to save him if she couldn't find him? She needed to save him, she needed to find him, she needed to save him, she needed to find him, she needed to, she needed to, she needed, she, she needed to…

She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the sky. She took a breath and focused on a heartbeat. A heartbeat other than her own.

She would find him.

She would save him.

She had a mission.

She had a purpose.

And she had a heartbeat to lead her way through the ghosts of her past.

(with Poe)

Stars were rushing past him as his x-wing screamed through space and he could feel his heart pounding as the adrenaline pumped through his veins. He lived for moments like this. He needed moments like this. And yet there was this crushing weight on his shoulders.

He didn't know if they could do it. He really didn't. The whispers of doubt were haunting the back of his mind and he was struggling to push them down.

And he knew he didn't have time for such thoughts.

He caught himself glancing at his hand before sighing, especially since he had done this action a dozen times already since he took off, and used his mouth to pull his heavy glove off. He stared at the ring, resting on his hand.

He didn't know why he gave it to her. He didn't know what had made him think of it. He didn't even know why he still had these, or why all of sudden he remembered them and felt like he needed to give her one. It wasn't like he proposed, or anything. Marriage wasn't an option for someone like him, and it was probably something she would never even consider. It was just an easy untraceable way to make sure she was alive. Cause that is what he cared about. Knowing that she was still alive. Even if he refused to think about what he would do if he couldn't feel her heartbeat anymore.

He was honestly surprised she was wearing it, but there it was, her heartbeat. Even, calm and focused. It had jumped around earlier, but it was still there. And that's what matters.

His radio crackled and his order came across, "Black leader, go to sub-lights on your call."

"Rodger, Base." Poe confirmed before sending out the order, "Red Squad, Blue Squad, take my lead."

"Dropping out of lightspeed." Came the confirmation.

He rubbed the ring between his fingers before tapping it lightly and pulling his glove on as he begun to focus on the base he was screaming towards as they dropped out of lightspeed. He almost jumped in his seat when he felt a light tap back.

He would have thought he had missed it.

He would have thought he had imagined it.

But it had been the exact same pattern as he had absentmindedly tapped, it was her. He was here and she was there, but they were both alive.

And for the first time for as long as he could remember, he had full intention on returning home.

Full intention on returning to her.

(With Finn and Han)

Finn and Han took cover staring at where they needed to go. "We'll use the charges to blow that blast door. I'll go in and draw fire, but I'm gonna need cover."

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Han asked slowly, looking at the younger man.

"Hell, no." Finn groaned, "I'll go in an try to find Rey. The troopers will be on our tail." Han's attention turned to behind Finn but the man kept on talking. "We have to be ready for that. There's an access tunnel that leads…"

Finn trailed off watching Han's expression and slight head movements. Annoyed he asked, "Why are you doing that? Hmm? Why are you doing this?" attempting to replicate the motions Han was making. "I'm trying to come up with a plan."

Han used his gun to point behind Finn, causing the younger man to finally look behind him. And see just the person they were looking for. Finn couldn't help but break out in a wide grin.

(With Rey)

She had no idea where she was going, but anywhere was better than in that room with Kylo Ren. She was checking her surroundings, her stolen blaster raised, and jumped out of her skin to discover what was around the corner.

"You all right?" Han asked, slowly pushing Rey's blaster down.

"Yeah." Rey replied, her eyes wide.

"Good."

"What happened to you? Did he hurt you." Finn asked, quickly looking over Rey for any injuries.

Rey slowly asked, "Finn, what are you doing here?"

"We came back for you." Finn replied, and Chewie spoke, drawing away Rey's attention. "What did he say?"

"That it was your idea." Rey stated softly, before hugging the man standing in front of her. "Thank you."

Finn returned the hug, a slight smile on his face, before a thought crossed his mind. "How did you get away?"

"I can't explain it. And you wouldn't believe it."

Han interrupted the moment to get them focus back on surviving, "Escape now, hug later."

They all jumped when there was a loud clunk behind them and whipped around in surprise. Two stormtroopers had crumpled to the ground right after they turned the corner. They had to have been taken out moments before they would have seen the group and allerted the others.

The question was who were they taken out by?

A figure donning black tactical armor stepped out from around the corner and walked to the group. Han simply sighed and shook his head.

He had wondered where she went.

"Is this the chick we were here to save?" Seraphine asked gesturing to Rey, her voice muffled by her helmet. Finn and Rey both looked at each other and then back to the girl. "Take that as a yes, mind if we get out of here before anyone realizes that these guys are gone." She gestured to the two stormtroopers lying on the ground unconscious behind her. Her little wand had hit them with a lot more energy than she thought it would. But it did it's purpose, so she wasn't sure of what more she could ask for.

They weren't dead yet. But if she didn't get the others off this base soon, she didn't know how long that fact would stay.

The others quickly began to run down the hallway, Seraphine following them, glancing around as she did. Han slowed down a little from his leading of the group to join her, and he lightly grabbed her arm. "Where did you go?" He asked slowly.

"I figured it would be better to split up." Seraphine replied simply. "We had different tasks, different things that we were looking for." She regretted the words the moment they came out of her mouth.

"You are looking for him."

Seraphine cursed, but it came out barely audible from within her helmet. She should have known better to rejoin with them, now Han was going to give her a whole speech about how that wasn't her mission and she needed to move on a blah blah blah, stuff she didn't care about. She truly loved the older man with all of her heart, but she didn't need another person telling her no.

She knew what she needed to do, and no one was going to stand in her way. Even if she had to cut them down, she would find him. No matter what. "Yeah." She replied slowly.

"Okay." Han replied and that was it.

Seraphine looked at the man surprised and tried to read the emotion he had on his face. It was one she recognized quickly, for it was an expression she knew far to well. She had seen so many times before when she looked in a mirror. It was an expression of someone lost in the past, haunted by ghosts and regrets.

And she hated the fact that there really wasn't anything she could do about it.

She hated the fact that she had caused it.

It was all her fault.

And she hated it.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Hi, so I know it is has kind of been a real while, and I am sorry for that. School is crazy and so much stuff and honestly I keep forgetting that I haven't published in a while. Your reviews, follows, and favorites mean so much to me and keep me up to date with publishing. Thank you all so much for your support and I hope it continues._

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Thirteen_

* * *

It was chaos in the skies above them. Explosions surrounding x-wings, death in all directions. The pilots tried to be as focused as they could but that is difficult to do when your friends are getting shot down all around you.

This was the scene those on the surface were watching as they looked up in the sky.

She had told him it was a suicide mission, she had told him. They were horribly outnumbered and were facing threats in all directions. She jumped slightly when she watched a x-wing come crashing down into the snow not to far from them.

She knew it wasn't him, his specially painted x-wing told her that much. He was still up there, he was still fighting. She could still feel his heartbeat, but that didn't make her feel any better about this.

She hated war.

She hated death.

She hated suffering.

And she hated how there was really nothing she could do about it.

She felt so helpless. Like no matter how hard she tried, she knew nothing she ever did would mean anything. She remembered when she was little girl and truly thought she was going to change the universe. She truly thought she mattered in the greater scheme of things.

But by now she's figured out she was never meant to. To matter. To change anything. To be a hero. But he was. And if she could save him, then maybe the universe would be saved. Just like she always hoped it would.

But right now she felt pretty fucking helpless.

"They're in trouble." Han commented. "We can't leave. My friend's got a bag of explosives. Let's use them."

Now that was more like it.

She did love blowing things up.


	13. Ben

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: HAHAHA so I have an anatomy midterm (or my chem midterm. Or my math midterm) and have a bad cold, and yet instead of studying and/or sleeping I am writing this. Because I love you all. And because I am a piece of trash that didn't publish this weekend like I meant too. Whoops. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter that I DID NOT enjoy writing because I am still not over it. Nor will I ever be. As always please review, your support really means a lot to me._

 _Songs of the Chapter: Alan Walker – All Falls Down (Lyrics) ft. Noah Cyrus, Digital Farm Animals_

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen - Ben**

It was chaos in the skies above them. Explosions surrounding x-wings, death in all directions. The pilots tried to be as focused as they could but that is difficult to do when your friends are getting shot down all around you.

This was the scene those on the surface were watching as they looked up in the sky.

She had told him it was a suicide mission, she had told him. They were horribly outnumbered and were facing threats in all directions. She jumped slightly when she watched a x-wing come crashing down into the snow not to far from them.

She knew it wasn't him, his specially painted x-wing told her that much. He was still up there, he was still fighting. She could still feel his heartbeat, but that didn't make her feel any better about this.

She hated war.

She hated death.

She hated suffering.

And she hated how there was really nothing she could do about it.

She felt so helpless. Like no matter how hard she tried, she knew nothing she ever did would mean anything. She remembered when she was little girl and truly thought she was going to change the universe. She truly thought she mattered in the greater scheme of things.

But by now she's figured out she was never meant to. To matter. To change anything. To be a hero. But he was. And if she could save him, then maybe the universe would be saved. Just like she always hoped it would.

But right now she felt pretty fucking helpless.

"They're in trouble." Han commented. "We can't leave. My friend's got a bag of explosives. Let's use them."

Now that was more like it.

She did love blowing things up.

(A few minutes later)

It was a rather simple plan. The types of plans she liked. Blast their way in, and blast their way out. The moment the doors opened Seraphine, Han and Chewie were already firing, but the stormtroopers responded quickly. As the other two duct to take cover, Seraphine simply kept walking and shooting.

Han gave her a look after all of the stormtroopers were down.

"What?" Seraphine shrugged. "This armor can take a hit and with their accuracy I wasn't expecting much. Not even a scratch man, not even a scratch. How is it that Finn is the only stormtrooper in the damn universe than can actually hit what they are aiming at?"

Han simply rolled his eyes and shushed her, gesturing for her and Chewie to follow him down the hall. They continued, weapons raised, but Seraphine continued to mumble to herself.

"No but like seriously? Is it just the helmet, cause Finn can shoot just fine. Same training and all, but Finn doesn't wear that stupid uniform. But they have been wearing that stupid ugly ass easily spotted uniform since before my parents were born, it couldn't seriously be the problem could it? I mean they could shoot in the clone wars, but the training changed after that right? So why can't they shoot, it is not that hard to shoot in a straight line."

"Seraphine." Han growled and the girl looked up in her own helmet. "Ssshh."

Seraphine shrugged again, but did stop talking and turned her attention to their surroundings. For a base this was oddly empty. You would think that someone would had heard their blasters from a few moments earlier. I mean, sure, they were under attack and probably had a 100 things they needed to be worried about but still. Very bad defense strategy.

Especially Ben.

She stopped dead in her tracks, causing the other two to look at her strangely. Ben would never make a mistake like this, but what if he wasn't in charge? She didn't actually know what his ranking was, she had only heard the horror stories of his actions. She had heard from the survivors, but she could only imagine how it was for those who didn't make it.

She shook her head again. She needed to focus. She remembered his strategy from when they played his stupid war games. He had always loved war. And he wasn't this stupid. He knew they were here. He also had to know that she and Han were specifically here. So what was he thinking.

"Seraphine." Han hissed, trying to catch the girl's attention.

"It's a trap." Seraphine replied, her mind finally catching up to what her instincts had known all along.

Han simply smiled weakly before he nodded. "I know." He patted her on the back and turned his attention back to the doorway just as it opened. "Girl knows her stuff." He laughed, and Seraphine nodded slowly still watching the man in front of her.

"Well, this is not creepy at all." Seraphine muttered, looking across the area in front of them. "Was this seriously the best way for them to build this, it doesn't look very safe?"

Han gave the girl a look and she did a lock and key gesture with her mouth, finishing with chucking the imaginary key over the edge and then pretending to watch to see how far down it would go. Han rolled his eyes and the girls sarcasm but could admit he knew where she got it from.

"We'll set the charges against every other column." Han started to plan, turning his attention to his trusted companion and trying to ignore the much too old to be acting like a teenager girl beside him. Chewie made a suggestion and Han slowly nodded. "You're right. That's a better idea. You take the top. I'll go down below. Seraphine." The girl jumped to attention. "Stay with Chewie and watch our backs. Stealth on this mission not blasty blasty."

Seraphine smiled slightly before she nodded. He remembered. The first time she had learned to shoot, it had been a big fight between Han and Leia. She might have been about 13, but Han thought they treated her like she was a baby. Leia argued that she was just trying to keep her safe. Seraphine just wanted to learn to do the blasty blasty as she had called it back then. Han was the one who taught her how to shoot, much to Leia's dismay. She was surprised he remembered.

"Detinator." Han commented, handing Chewie the device. "We'll meet back here."

With that they split up, carefully picking their steps to try to prevent detection. When Seraphine turned away she almost jumped when the feeling of ice touched the back of her neck. She slowly followed Chewie before glancing back at Han. Something was going to happen. She just didn't know what.

They managed to place charge after charge without being detected. The fact that they didn't really see any stormtroopers really helped, man these guys needed to buff up their security. She did think this was much too easy. Much much much too easy. Something was going to go wrong. Something always did.

The moment she thought it, of course it did. Why did her mind always go to these places? They ducked behind a control center listening to a group of stormtroopers rush past them.

"They are looking for something Chewie." Seraphine whispered and Chewie responded softly. Seraphine rolled her eyes. "I know they are looking for us Chewie, I was just trying to stay positive."

"Ben!" Han's voice echoed through the chamber. Seraphine looked up and without really checking for stormtroopers around them rushed to edge of the railing.

He was here. He had been here. How did she not realize he was here? How did she not sense him when he was right there? The answer was a simple one, one that she had been trying to ignore since the beginning.

She was not force sensitive. She had never been. She had gut instinct, and a really good one at that, but the force had never spoken to her, not like it did to him. He used to let her know where he was, no matter how far apart they were. Now he wanted nothing to do with her.

And it was all her fault.

He didn't look like himself. That mask, it looked nothing like him. Her hands flew to her own helmet, before slowly taking it off. She wanted to look nothing like that. Nothing like him. He was projecting such a dark aura, trying to project so much strength, but she knew that wasn't him. That wasn't Ben.

Ben had cried when a they had found a dead bird. Ben was always worried about failing his parents and not being able to change the universe. The Ben she knew wanted to help people, just like she did. The Ben she knew had saved her from her hell and showed her all the world had to offer. That wasn't her Ben.

She needed to save him.

To save him from himself.

To save him from Kylo Ren.

To save him.

But she didn't suppose she deserved too.

Not after what she had done to him.

Ben and Han were talking about something, but she couldn't make it out. They were too far away. She hated eavesdropping emotional blah blah, but this was something she wanted to hear.

She didn't deserve to save him.

It made sense that Han Solo would. She had heard all of the stories, the stories of all of the amazing things he had done. Han, Luke and Leia had never talked about them themselves, the way that no soldiers want to talk about the past. But other people sure did. She used to listen to the stories with such awe and amazement.

The three of them had saved the universe more times than she could count. When she was a kid, she wanted to be just like them. They had defeated the Empire, they had defeated evil. She thought she had a chance to do good for the universe just like they did.

She had since learned better. She had since learned that they were not the only ones, she had since learned just how many people had died in the fighting. She had since learned that war was not a good thing.

Still, it made sense that Han would be the one to save the universe. Again.

"Do you hear what they are saying." Seraphine questioned Chewie who simply shook his head. The two of them watched in silence.

Until the unthinkable happened.

Chewie roared "NO," and Seraphine simply stood there frozen. It was like her brain had shut down, she couldn't focus. That couldn't have just happened, it couldn't have. It couldn't have, no, no, she was imagining it, no Ben wouldn't have, no, it, she.

She felt like she couldn't breath.

When Han feel, she snapped out of her daze. "HAN!" She screamed with a slight sob.

Chewie roared, firing his crossbow and hitting Kylo Ren squarely.

"Chewie no." Seraphine cried, attempting to wrestle the weapon away, but Chewie was much larger and much stronger. "BEN!" She shouted, turning her attention back to the injured man.

Chewie pushed her to the ground, just as the stormtroopers started to blast at their location. Seraphine's helmet clattered out of her hand and she managed to grab it, and attach it to her utility belt. She couldn't put it on, not when she felt like she couldn't breath. It was like the walls of the room were closing in on her and someone had their hand around her heart, squeezing it.

She could hear Chewie fighting, but it was like that was thousands of miles away. She couldn't focus her eyes, she couldn't slow her breath, she couldn't save ben, she couldn't, she couldn't.

She could feel a heartbeat. It was still there. Still beating. She could feel a heartbeat. She couldn't focus on anything else but she could focus on that. Slowly she slowed her breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breath out. Slowly her surroundings returned to her.

Stormtroopers were all around them and she needed to get to Ben.

She pulled her two miniature blasters off of her utility belt and quickly shot the stormtrooper who was coming up on Chewie's back. A few more shots and they were alone on the level. She watched Chewie run and then turned her attention to the man who was below her. She stood fast, even as the building began to explode around her.

"Ben." She shouted again, and Kylo Ren slowly looked up.

And looked right past her.

She followed his gaze to Finn and Rey who were standing above her. She should have known. She should have known that he wouldn't notice her. That he thought nothing of her. Rey and Finn quickly ran, attempting to get out of the building and Kylo Ren slowly stocked towards them.

He was still ignoring her, when he stormed directly under her. She watched him slowly, before leaping off of the railing and landing on the level below her.

A lot had changed since he had left.

She wasn't just a weak scared little girl anymore.

If she couldn't save him, then she needed to end this.

She needed to save Ben from himself.

No matter what it took.

She needed to save Ben from himself.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Honestly, so thankful for all you and all of your support, it really means a lot to me! Now off I go, because I really need to study for anatomy._

 _Sneak Peak Into Chapter Fourteen_

* * *

"You betrayed me. Again."


	14. No Longer

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: I AM SO SORRY. I am an awful human being. I got really overwhelmed with school and attempting to write my own personal novel, and this was a really hard chapter for me to write. I have had it in my head for so long and I just needed it to be perfect. I apologize, and will attempt to be better in the future. Please let me know what you think._

 _We had another student killed on campus about two weeks ago. Shot and killed by some asshole who she only dated for a month. Something needs to change. That's two octobers in a row here at the U. Something needs to change. We need to do something about this._

 _Songs of the Chapter: Taylor Swift - Safe and Sound_

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen - Children No Longer, We Are No Longer Safe and Sound, No Longer Sheltered From the World**

Seraphine forced herself to take step after step as she chased after him. She couldn't breathe and she felt like every step she took was in quicksand. She felt like every step she took forward was somehow forcing her back and that the distance between them would never get smaller. It was like she was moving in slow motion, like no matter how fast she ran or how far she went she just kept falling behind. Like no matter how hard she tried, all she would ever be looking at would be the square of his back. Like no matter how far she reached, she would never reach him. Like there was nothing she could do.

She felt so small. She felt like she was still a child, still scared hiding from her master. Hiding from her world.

But she also felt like there was nowhere to hide. Like she was naked to the world and every feeling her heart had would just rip into her more. Tearing her apart, ripping her father, taking all that she didn't even even know she had. Taking all she was and taking more. Till there was nothing of her left and she would be forgotten to the world.

She felt nothing and everything at the same time and all she knew is that she hurt.

He was dead.

Han couldn't be dead.

He was Han.

And it was Ben.

Her Ben.

His Ben.

The Ben they loved with all of their hearts, the Ben who had just been lost to the darkness. This wasn't Ben.

It couldn't be Ben.

Not her Ben.

The Ben that she missed every day, but it was if that Ben was gone.

It was if someone had picked out everything that made Ben Ben and turned him into Kylo Ren. And that was the man she was chasing after.

When she reached the outside he was only a few steps in front of her. She was blinded by the sudden light but still screamed on the top of her lungs with all of her heart ,"Ben!"

When she was able to see again, there he was, standing directly in front of her. He was only a few steps away and yet he felt so far. She could walk up and just touch him and yet it was like he wasn't really there. Like there where whole galaxies between them and no matter what she would try, that she would never be able to reach him. That nothing she did mattered.

But she knew he was. Here he was, after all of this time. Just staring at her. Staring at her with those beautiful blue eyes.

"Ben." She softly repeated herself. The armor she was wearing might have been able to take shots from blasters, but it gave her little protection from his glare. There was such a hatred there, in a place that had once held so much love and kindness all she could see was hatred and pain. He hated her. And he had full reason too.

"Seraphine." Kylo Ren spat out as if her name was acid in his mouth. "I see that you are on their side." He had named her. He had given her the power of having a name, that a name meant that she mattered. He was the one who taught her that she mattered, who taught her that she was something. He was the one that had given her her name. He meant so much to her, and yet he spoke like she was nothing to him.

"I'm not on anyone's side, Ben. I just want the war to end." Seraphine replied crossing her arms in order to hide just how much her hands were shaking. She was okay. She would be okay. She could do this. "I just want the suffering to stop, for the people to be free of death. I'm not on anyone's side."

"Well you certainly not on mine."

"You are the one standing all the way over there." Seraphine shot back and they just looked at each other.

"You are the one who pushed me away." Kylo Ren replied, refusing to back down.  
Seraphine looked at him shocked, "After you murdered all of those kids!"

"You never bothered to get my side of the story." Kylo Ren shouted with enough force to make Seraphine to take a step back. "You just called me a monster and now you feel guilty. Now you are here trying to fix your mistake, trying to make everything better."

"I know you Ben, this isn't you. You aren't a monster, and you don't want to hurt people. I know you."

"You know nothing." Kylo Ren snarled, raising his hand up and throwing Seraphine into the wall behind her. Seraphine struggled back to her feet, coughing and ignoring the intense jabbing pain in her ribs. She shakily took a few steps forward advancing from her previous question. "You betrayed me. Again. You took their side last time, and you took their side again. You betrayed me." He threw her against the wall and this time kept her there, his hand tightening until she felt the force around her neck and started to gasp for air.

Just as her vision began to fade and the darkness began to creep around the corners, he dropped her. Struggling to fight for every breath she crumpled onto the ground, the cold piercing her lungs. "You betrayed me." Kylo Ren repeated, as she pushed herself up onto her knees.

Kylo Ren used the force again to throw her back into the wall a third time, screaming, "You betrayed me."

Seraphine stumbled back up to her feet clutching her side and forcing the air in out of her lungs, struggling to take every breath. She looked at him, watched him, without saying a word. Suddenly she was being pulled forward.

And then his hand was wrapped around her throat. "You betrayed me." He hissed, his hand tightening around her neck as she attempted to break out of his grip. Still struggling she looked into his eyes. Looked into eyes and remembered the boy he once was. The boy she had loved with all her heart. The innocent and kind boy he once was. She looked into his eyes and for the first time truly saw the truth. That kind sweet boy was gone. That boy was dead. And he had been replaced by the broken man in front of her.

She couldn't save him. She wished she could. She truly wished she could. She would give anything and everything she had to be able to go back, to go back to save him. To not turn away when he was hurting, to not have turned away when he needed her most. She was so stupid. She was such a stupid kid. She should have known better. She should have trusted him. And then maybe he wouldn't have done this. It was all her fault. She turned him not what she had become.

She would have given anything to save him. Anything for him to be safe and sound.

She looked him in the eyes and stopped struggling. She slowly reached up to cradle his cheek and accepted her fate. She couldn't do anything to save him. So if she were to die, it made sense that it would be by his hand. The hand that had pulled her out of hell to be the one to put her back in it. She should have saved him. This was her punishment she deserved it.

And then she was on the ground again, gasping for air. She stared up at him, attempting to speak but unable to. Unable to force the words out of her throat no matter how hard she tried too. She was trying so hard to speak, but she didn't know what words she was trying to say. She didn't know what she could say, she didn't know how to fix this. But she wanted to try. But her body was betraying her and the words were being choked back into her throat. She slowly reached her hand up towards him, and he turned and walked away without a word.

She tried to scream his name but nothing came out. Her voice was silent and everything hurt so bad. Every breath she took the cold air stabbed her again and again. She tried to scream his name but nothing came out, her arm crumpled back to the ground, her hand grasping at the cold snow beside her, looking for something, for anything, to hold onto.

She couldn't even cry.

She couldn't remember the last time she ever cried. She had learned so long ago not too, to not show weakness that she had forgotten how to. She laid there in the snow, watching it scream around her and the sun grow weaker and weaker. Soon it would be gone. And then they would all be dead.

She just wanted to die. She just wanted this all to be over. She just wanted to be free from her pain, to just exist in nothingness. She had tried so damn hard. She had tried to fucking damn hard. She had tried to do everything right. She had tried to run. She had tried to fight. But none of it mattered. Nothing she did mattered. She just wanted to die.

She just wanted to die.

She just wanted to die.

She just wanted it all to be over.

She just didn't want to hurt anymore.

She just wanted to be safe.

She just wanted to be a child, to be the safe innocent child that she had never been given the chance to be.

She just wanted to be free.

She just wanted it all to be over.

She just want to die.

She slowly raised her hand again, grasping at the air as she fought for each and every breath. She stared at her hand, as the wind danced around her. An x-wing and a group of tie-fighter screamed over her and she caught sight of the ring since on her middle finger.

She could still feel his heartbeat. He was still up there. He was still fighting. They were all still fighting. There was a war still being fought. There were people still dying, there were people still left to be saved.

Innocent people. Innocent children. All far more innocent than her. Far more innocent than she had ever been. They didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve any of this. It was her fault.

She had failed. But they didn't deserve to die because of her failures. They didn't deserve to live the life full of suffering and pain as she had. And if she could take their pain. If she could take her pain, if she could add it to her own, so that they might live happy lives then wouldn't it all be worth it. If she could just save one person, then wouldn't it all be worth it. She hurt so bad. But she could take their pain. She could save them.

She couldn't save Ben.

But she sure as hell could kill him.

She would kill him.

She would kill him and save the universe.

She would kill him or she would die trying.

So she couldn't die now. She couldn't die now, she had to keep on fighting. She had to keep on trying.

She needed to live. She need to fight.

She would die one day.

But that day was not to day.

She slowly rolled onto her side and forced herself onto her knees. Staggering, she placed on foot after the other on the ground and forced herself to stand, her lungs gasping for air no matter how much it hurt. She would live. She stumbled over her own feet but stood strong. She would live.

Dying would be too easy. She would live. That was the punishment fitting for her. She would live.

She slowly looked around and found herself completely surrounded by stormtroopers, their blasters raised. She didn't have any of her blasters. There were about twenty of them, all with their weapons raised.

She would die.

Just not today.

She slowly pulled two blades out of their sheaths on her belt.

"Alright boys. Let's play."

* * *

 _Author's Note: So yah. I apologize for my lack of motivation, it is existing in all fields of my life. I just want to give up, but I keep on trucking. I keep on trying. All of your support really helps, I am so grateful for every single review, follow and favorite. You guys all mean the world to me and I am so grateful for everything. I will try my best to resume my writing again, and your guys reviews will greatly help that. Everytime I see an alert on my phone I just can't help but smile._

 _On a more serious note, please stay safe in this dangerous world. If you are in an unhealthy relationship or you know someone who is, please know that there is support. Please know that there are people who care. There are resources to protect you, to help you, to support you and there are people who love you, people who will care for you, and people who will fight for you. Lauren didn't know who she was dating and after she found out she broke up with him. And she died for it. We have to protect each other, stand together with our brothers and sisters because none of us are alone. It is a scary world out there, but none of us are alone and we need to band together to stand the pain. Keep fighting and protect each other. Stay safe and always know you are loved. Never forget that, no matter what happens, never forget that._

 _Sneak Peek Into Chapter Fifteen_

* * *

"Black leader, there is a brand new hole in that oscillator. Looks like our friends got in." Yolo Ziff called, causing Poe to rip his eyes off of the battle in front of him and look down onto the planets surface. Time was running out, they had less than a few minutes and it couldn't have happened at a better time.

"Red Four, Red Six, cover us." Poe ordered.

"I'm on it." Red Four, Lieutenant Bastian, responded.

Red Six, Ello Asty, chimed in with a "Rodger."

"Everybody else, hit the target hard, give it everything you've got." Poe turned his X-wing into a sharp dive towards the surface, his men following closely behind him. This was going to be the only chance they had, with the seconds ticking down, this had to be done now or else all would be lost.

He could feel his heartbeat accelerate as he forced himself to calmly take breath after breath. This was it. This is the time he was waiting for. The time that he never felt more alive.

She was alive. He could feel her heartbeat. He needed to do this now. He only hoped that she would get off the planet on time. He had his mission, he had hers. She just better make it out of this alive, then it would all be worth it.

He carefully ducked down avoiding each of the blasts coming his way but there were just too many of them, "I need some help here, I need some help." He needed to complete his mission. He needed to complete his mission. He needed to.


	15. For Only When All Is Lost

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: So what if it is 3am, I have actual motivation for the first time in forever and I am going to write goddamnit. I am also going to go rewatch the movie because man has it been a while hahaha. Hope you guys enjoy, and I really love you all and am so grateful for the reviews._

 _Songs of the Chapter: Goodbye John Smith - Barns Courtney (Honestly anything by Barns Courtney is life and I listen to his music nonstop.)_

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen - For Only When All Is Lost, Will Hope Be Found**

"Black leader, there is a brand new hole in that oscillator. Looks like our friends got in." Yolo Ziff called, causing Poe to rip his eyes off of the battle in front of him and look down onto the planets surface. Time was running out, they had less than a few minutes and it couldn't have happened at a better time. It was go time, this was his only chance. This was it. He needed to make it count.

"Red Four, Red Six, cover us." Poe ordered.

"I'm on it." Red Four, Lieutenant Bastian, responded.

Red Six, Ello Asty, chimed in with a "Rodger."

"Everybody else, hit the target hard, give it everything you've got." Poe turned his X-wing into a sharp dive towards the surface, his men following closely behind him. This was going to be the only chance they had, with the seconds ticking down, this had to be done now or else all would be lost.

He could feel his heartbeat accelerate as he forced himself to calmly take breath after breath. This was it. This is the time he was waiting for. The time that he never felt more alive.

She was alive. He could feel her heartbeat. He needed to do this now. He only hoped that she would get off the planet on time. He had his mission, she had hers. He couldn't be focusing on this, he couldn't afford to be focusing on her. She just better make it out of this alive, then it would all be worth it.

He carefully ducked down avoiding each of the blasts coming his way but there were just too many of them, "I need some help here, I need some help." He needed to complete his mission. He needed to complete his mission. He needed to.

"Coming in." Lieutenant Bastian responded.

"Watch out." Jessika Pava, warned but it to was seconds too late. Red Six took a hit and explosions began to tear apart the X-Wings wings.

"I'm hit!" Ello Asty shouted, before losing control and spinning off and colliding with the side of the gully.

Poe glance back and grimised. Ello Asty was a good man. But he didn't have time to think about that now and quickly looked back to resume his mission. He didn't have time to think about all of the friends that had died during this battle, or any of the battles before it. He didn't have time to mourn, he didn't have time to breath. He never did, he was always moving having to focus on the next step. He only could focus on his mission, it was all for his mission. His mission was all he had and he could complete it. Failure was not an option. Not for him. Not now. Not when the weight of the universe was resting on his shoulders.

"All teams, I'm going in." Poe ordered, focusing on the target in front of him, slowly taking each breath to keep his heartbeat down. The one echoing his own was steady and he used it to focus on his own. It was not the time for emotions, it was not the time for mistakes. Mistakes would end up with him getting killed and then all would be lost. "Pull up and cover me."

"Copy that, Black leader." Nik Lek replied as he began to pull up out of the gulley they were shooting down, the others following him. "Good luck, Poe." It was an empty suggestion and Lek knew it. Poe didn't need luck. He was too good to need luck. They had faith in him, he was their leader and they knew he could do this. Good luck was just a polite thing to say.

Carefully dodging everything that came towards him, Poe began the set up of what was needed to prepare himself for this shot. He twisted so he was flying vertically to force his way through the opening the landing parties blasts had created, forcing the tie-fighters to pull off, and started to blast away, destroying everything in front of him.

Explosions ripped out, the bright light surrounding him but Poe stayed focus on his target, destroying everything he could, he could before escaping out of the building, explosions take out almost everything behind him.

Time seemed to slow down as he waited to see if it had been enough, if it had been enough damage. If he had managed to pull it off. After a few long seconds, the building exploded like fireworks being set off behind him. The planet started to show the effects as the explosions spread, destroying everything in its path.

He had done it.

He had done it.

He had somehow managed to do it, he couldn't help but let out a laugh. As he turned to look back down at the surface that was collapsing below them. He had done it. He just hoped that the landing party would have enough time to get off the planet before it exploded around them. He had done it. He just prayed she would get off on time.

He didn't know what he would do if the heartbeat stopped.

He didn't know what he would do if he was the one who had killed her.

He had done it.

But what exactly had he done?

(on the planet)

Rey ran back through the forest, desperately looking around. When she caught sight of his figure laid out on the snow she cried, "Finn! Finn!" She turned him over, holding back tears as she looked at his injured body before slumping down into him. He had protected her. He had done this for her.

She had no idea what to do as the snow fell around them. And then there was a bright light, causing Rey to look up as the tears fell down her face. It was the Falcon. Chewy was here for them.

She grabbed the lightsaber off of the snow as Chewy carried the injured Finn onto the Falcon, carefully laying him down onto the seat. Chewy quickly went off to start to pilot the Falcon and get them off this crumbling planet and Rey quickly grabbed Finn's hand and started to stroke his head. They needed to get him to a medic soon. She didn't even know if he was still alive.

(back in space)

Poe's eyes searched the space as the planet began to explode. They had to be alive. They had to have made it off. They had too. She had to be alive, he could still feel her heartbeat. Or was it his own and his mind was playing tricks on him. He didn't know, and his eyes began to strain as he searched for that ship.

Wait.

There.

He felt his heart lift and a slight weight off his shoulders. He opened his com and called "All teams, I got eyes on them." Listen to the cheers across the line he watched the Millennium Falcon strongly pulling off the exploding planet.

She had to be alive.

She had to be on that ship.

He believed it.

"Our jobs done here. Let's go home." He sighed feeling like he could breath for the first time in hours. They had done it. He had done it. They had won and they were safe. Everyone was safe.

For now.

(on the Falcon)

Rey fretted over Finn, not knowing what to do, almost jumping as she heard steps behind her. She glanced back and her eyes widened in shock when she did.

It was the girl who had saved her earlier. She didn't remember her name, or even if she had heard it being said. But she recognized the armour that she had been wearing. The armour that was now dripping blood. She was covered in it. It was literally dripping off of her armour and was smeared against her face as well. She looked as if she had fought out of the depths of hell but left her soul behind. Her eyes looked dead as she stared down at Finn.

Rey attempted to speak as the Seraphine crouched down beside her, checking Finn's pulse. "Are you?" She asked stumbling over her words, searching for any wounds she could find. There was so much blood. There was just so much blood.

Seraphine avoided the question by responding, "He's alive. Barely, but he's alive." Rey quickly turned her attention back to the injured Finn as Seraphine grabbed the medical kit and began to focus on doing what she could for the injuries she could see. She wasn't a medical expert but she knew enough. She had stitched up plenty of wounds in her day, but for now she just needed to keep him alive until they could get him back to the base.

"What happened to the two of you?" Seraphine asked, knowing full well the answer. These were lightsaber wounds on Finn, which was why he wasn't badly bleeding. And probably the reason he was still alive. Knives weren't as kind.

"Kylo Ren." Rey replied softly, lightly stroking the top of Finn's head in an attempt to comfort the unconscious man.

"And you guys lived." Seraphine responded shaking her head and Rey stayed silent. "You guys are lucky, he kills everything in his path." She looked over at Rey. "Is he alive? Ben, er, Ren? Is he alive?" Rey nodded. "How'd that happen?"

"I was only able to hold him off. The land split at our feet and pulled us apart." Rey explained softly and Seraphine didn't respond, she just kept on treating Finn. She was glad he wasn't dead. She was glad he wasn't dead yet. Because now she could be the one to kill him. She could be the one to kill Kylo Ren, she could be the one to free Ben. Even if she was freeing him into death. It was the way it needed to be. This needed to end.

The two of them sat in silence, their thoughts lost to the dark corners of their minds.

They were alive.

The base was destroyed.

But Han was dead.

Han was gone.

And it had been at his son's hand.

Both had the same mission in their head. They were going to end this. They were going to end Kylo Ren.

* * *

 _Author's Note: I decided not to include the lightsaber fights between Finn/Kylo Ren and Rey/Kylo Ren because they are beautiful scenes but since they were not 'necessary' to the story and I wasn't sure I could do them justice. So, rewatch them in the movie because they are amazing and the attention to detail is ridiculous. Kylo Ren is a whiny baby tho, like I love him, but gosh he can get annoying._

 _All names and quotes during the X-wing conversions are real characters belonging to the Star Wars Universe. It took a weird amount of work went into it, consisting of carefully looking at who said what and then tracking down their wiki page and I had to literally google all of the scottish actors in Star Wars to find Niv Lek, but I am pretty confident it is all correct. If it is not, please let me know and I will fix it. Thank you._

 _As always, reviews are amazing and lifesaving and I am so grateful for all of suport you guys have given me. It really means so much, you guys are awesome._

 _Sneak Peek into Chapter Sixteen (contains a possible violence trigger, so be careful)_

* * *

She could hear the cheers from outside the ship. She could hear the cheers and the celebration as she sat there with no desire to celebrate. She could hear the cheers as she sat there her mind lost in the darkness and her thoughts and the emotions she did not want to be feeling.

She looked down at the stormtrooper helmet she was clutching. She didn't know why she was still clutching it, or why she still had it. But as she stared at the blood splatter on it her mind flashed back to when she slammed her knife into his throat.


	16. Made to Die

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language. Specific mentions of violence (like seriously, if this will make you uncomfortable or trigger you in anyway skip to the second part.)_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: Well this was an interesting chapter to write. Explains a little more about how Seraphine got out of that sticky situation she found herself in a few chapters back. As always, your support is greatly appreciated and I get so excited when I see reviews. And reviews mean motivation so, *wink*. :)_

 _Songs of the Chapter: Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (middle school flashbacks anyone?) and Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival_

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen - They Were Made to Die, and She Needed to Live**

She could hear the cheers from outside the ship. She could hear the cheers and the celebration as she sat there with no desire to celebrate. She could hear the cheers as she sat there, her mind lost in the darkness and her thoughts and the emotions she did not want to be feeling. She didn't want to be feeling this. She didn't want to be feeling any of this. She was normally able to push it down, to push it down and move on. She had trained herself to not feel pain but right now so much was boiling up to the surface she just didn't know what do with herself.

She looked down at the stormtrooper helmet she was clutching. She didn't know why she was still clutching it, or why she still had it. But as she stared at the blood splatter on it, her mind flashed back to when she slammed her knife into his throat.

She had never seen blood spatter onto the snow before. It was almost beautiful as it bounced, the contrast bringing out both the red and the white. But then all of the snow was red, or at least pink as the blood began to mix all around her.

He had crumpled. He twitched as the blood sprayed onto her, he died within seconds. He was taking his final breaths and she had already moved on, killing one of the others that stood in her path. Her armour was black, their armour was white. Her's hide the blood a whole lot better, the blood was striking against their white armour, the contrast the same as on the snow. Who thought putting them in white was a good idea?

There was so much blood. There had been so much blood. Knives were messy, it was why she didn't like using them. Knives were so messy and the blood went everywhere. There had been so much blood, there had just been so much blood.

She lived and they all died. Died doing what they were created to do, die. To fight and to die, that was their purpose, their cause, all that they were meant to be. Fight, die, and kill. If she hadn't been lucky enough to escape she would still be on Talali. Still trapped, still living a life of pain and misery, but she was living a life of misery of her own creation. And she would take than any day than being born to fight, die and kill.

She had been created to be a doll, to be a play thing, to look pretty. But she had learned to fight. She had learned to kill. She had learned how to survive. And she was damn good at it. But she didn't like it. She hated it. She hated what she had become.

She never really had a chance. She wasn't a fortunate one.

She looked at the blood she had gotten all over the ship. Her hands were physically clean, her gloves she had discarded insured that, but they weren't in her head. In her head she could see all the blood dripping off of them, as it slowly fell from her knife and onto the snow. There had been so much blood.

It had dried onto her armour. The deep red greatly contrasting the black, catching the light as if it was some decoration or some medal. But it wasn't a decoration, it was a reminder of what she had done. And she sure as hell didn't deserve a metal for this shit. She never understand why they gave medals for killing people. It was some backwards attempt to make it all better, to make it seem like they were good, that they deserved it, that all of the nightmares would just go away.

She could still see it, not even just when she closed her eyes. She could still see it, like they were standing there directly in front of her. She could still see them. Them and all of their blood.

There were twenty of them.

And she was only one.

But they were made to die.

And she needed to live.

She had killed people before. She had gotten to the point where it wasn't even hard anymore. She tried to avoid it, even when she did everything she could to avoid it, people still ended up dead. She hated death. She hated how permanent it was. She hated death.

But she wasn't a stranger to it.

She had killed her first person when she was only two months out on her own. She had run away, run away from everything, and found herself in an awful situation with a greasy man's hand up her skirt. She did everything she could to get away and hit him over the head with the only thing she could get her hands on. She still remembered how the blood began to pool, how it spread as if it was reaching out to her, trying to drag her down as well. She remembered his wife screamed and she remembered how she ran. She ran and ran and ran until she couldn't feel her legs anymore. She ran until she couldn't run and then she ran some more.

But she needed to live.

She never made that mistake again. She learned how to fight, she learned everything she could. She met so many people and learned so many things, taking what they taught her to create what she wanted. And she strapped knives everywhere she could on her body. She would never be caught of guard again. Most girls weren't so lucky. Most of them weren't given a second chance. She was lucky.

She needed to survive. And she would do anything that was needed in order too.

She had killed for the job.

She had killed for revenge.

She had killed because she needed to.

It was a fact of life in the world she had found herself living in. Every man and women for themselves, it doesn't matter what happened to anyone else. Do what you need to do in order to make it back, get paid and then do it all over again.

She had killed so many people.

But she had never enjoyed it.

When she thought back she could see it almost like it was a film, watching the knives slice at everything she could get her hands on. Cutting through the weak spots in their armour, weak spots she had memorized, weak spots she had trained to attack. She dodge all of the blaster blasts, moving so they would hit each other. After a few were taken out by friendly fire they had gotten smart and stopped shooting, attempting to take her out in any way. She had killed them. She had killed every last one.

She remembered the snow, she remembered the cold, she remembered the blood. She remembered every move she made, every sound of death that escaped the stormtroopers lips, she remembered it all. She remembered it all so vividly, like she was still there, she was reliving it again and again. But there was one part that was almost a dream, that she couldn't quite remember. She could almost hear laughing.

A twisted sick laughing, a laughing that chilled her to the chore. The laugher of a monster, the laughter of someone lost to the world.

Had she been laughing?

Had she enjoyed it?

She couldn't remember, she couldn't remember.

She could remember what she had done, but she could remember if she had enjoyed it.

She couldn't believe what she had become.

She was a monster.

She had killed them. She had killed all of them.

They were born to die, but they died at her hand.

But she lived. She survived. She was still here. And she was still fighting.

But she wasn't a fortunate one.

And she had never been.

This was the life for her.

And she needed to accept it.

(on the base)

Poe jumped off of the ladder on his X-Wing, and was quickly surrounded by his celebrating men cheering. He had done it. He had saved them. He had saved them all. He didn't know how, but he had done it!

He watched as the Falcon landed and ran over with the others to greatly the landing party. Chewy quickly came out carrying a figure, and his stomach sank. The figure was quickly taken by one of the medical teams.

As he ran beside them, he felt guilty and hated himself. It was Finn, Finn was his friend and he was worried for him but he had been almost glad when he saw it was him. He wasn't glad that it was Finn, he wasn't, he was just glad that it wasn't her. That it wasn't Seraphine. Speaking off, he glanced back at the ship.

"Take care of him." He warned the medics and slowed to a stop walking back to the ship. Where was she? Why hadn't she come of the ship yet? She was on the ship right? He could feel her heartbeat. Or could he, was he just imagining it? She had to be alive. She had to be.

He watched as the General and a women he had to assume was Rey embraced, sharing a solemn moment in the celebration. He pushed his way through the crowd responding to the congratulations and forcing a smile onto his face. He was happy, he really was. He was overjoyed. But right now he just wanted to see her.

He didn't understand it. He had barely known her. It had only been a few days but he felt like he had known her forever. That he had been meant to know her his whole life, like everything that happened to him everything he had done had all been to meet her. Like destiny had brought them together and destiny wasn't even something he believed in. That everything he had gone through didn't matter, that all of the suffering and all of the pain didn't matter, none of it mattered because he had her now and that was all he needed. He couldn't understand it, he couldn't explain it, but he knew it was true.

There was something different about her, there was something special about her. And he needed to see her. Where was she?

Slowly a figure appeared, trailing out the Falcon. The cheering slowly came to a stop as everyone watched her and she just stared at them. She was covered in blood. It was smeared everywhere, it was like every inch of her was covered with it.

She was alive. But her eyes didn't look like it. Her makeup was smeared, the blue streaks on her faces streaking as it mixed with the blood spattered onto her face. She looked like she had fought a whole war all by herself. Her shoulders were held high but her eyes looked dead.

She looked like a soldier.

Something Poe never wanted for her.

She deserved to live a better life than the one he did.

The General slowly pulled out of her hug with Rey and looked at her, slowly reaching out and gasping, "Seraphine."

Seraphine simply turned and looked at her adoptive mother, her expression not changing. "It's not mine." She slowly replied, holding up the stormtrooper helmet she was still clutching. She looked away and began to walk into the crowd, who quickly forgot about her, their hope returned. They had lived, they were here to fight another day and they had won against the First Order. They had defeated Star Killer Base, they had done it. They had plenty of reasons to celebrate.

Poe attempted to follow her, but lost her the crowd. There were just so many people and in one second she was there and in one second she was gone.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Sorry, sorry. That was a short chapter I know, I know. But it was too long to include in the next one and I just wanted to get something out there. So yah, I hope you guys still enjoyed it. Things will start to look up for Seraphine and Poe even if it just for a few moments. As always, your reviews mean the most to me and are greatly appreciated. Lots of love, M._

 _Sneak Peek into Chapter Seventeen_

* * *

He couldn't find her anywhere. He had searched everywhere he could think off, and no one had seen her. No one had any idea where she was.

He had assumed she went to her ship. It was still docked on one of the corners of the landing pad, tucked out of the way and almost out of sight. It meant she was still here, she was still here somewhere. He had assumed she went to her ship and so he went there first. Talked for like five whole minutes before he gave up, figuring she wasn't there. Or if she was, she must really not want to talk to him.

And then he searched. He went everywhere he could think of, the training rooms, the meal hall, the hanger deck, the medical bay. There were just way too many places to hide on the base.

So now he sat beside Finn in the medical bay, his mind reeling. So much had happened and he just didn't know what to do. Everyone was out celebrating, but he didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like doing anything. He just wanted to go to sleep. When was the last time he had? It felt like at least a few years but it easily could be a few days. He just wanted to sleep. But when he slept his defences went down and he couldn't trust his own mind. He just wanted to sleep.

But he needed to find her.


	17. Alive

_Warnings: Explicit usage of language._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the Star Wars Universe other than a POP Poe figurine. All characters belong to their creators. Seraphine and other OCs are my personal characters unless otherwise mentioned._

 _Author's Note: I am messing with the timeline a tad bit because it isn't super clear. I'll explain it as it's relevant, but I'll be giving my little resistance fighters a break cause honestly too many plot points happening so fast can be overwhelming. And I need to force my plot points into the story line so you all don't get bored. So yah. In the movies everything happens very quickly, here I'm giving them a little time to breath. So they haven't found Luke's map yet. Yep. Hope that makes sense lol. Please review. They make me happy. :) Enjoy!_

 _Songs of the Chapter: At My Best (feat. Hailee Steinfeld) - Machine Gun Kelly and Little Do You Know - Alex and Sierra_

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen - Alive**

He couldn't find her anywhere. He had searched everywhere he could think off, and no one had seen her. No one had any idea where she was.

He had assumed she went to her ship. It was still docked on one of the corners of the landing pad, tucked out of the way and almost out of sight. It meant she was still here, she was still here somewhere. He had assumed she went to her ship and so he went there first. Talked for like five whole minutes before he gave up, figuring she wasn't there. Or if she was, she must really not want to talk to him.

And then he searched. He went everywhere he could think of, the training rooms, the meal hall, the hanger deck, the medical bay. There were just way too many places to hide on the base, she could have picked any corner and he had no idea that he would ever find her.

So now he sat beside Finn in the medical bay, his mind reeling. So much had happened and he just didn't know what to do. Everyone was out celebrating, but he didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like doing anything. He just wanted to go to sleep. When was the last time he had? It felt like at least a few years but it easily could be a few days. He just wanted to sleep. But when he slept his defences went down and he couldn't trust his own mind. He just wanted to sleep, yet he wasn't ready to listen to his demons yet.

But he needed to find her.

He looked up when there was movement in front of him and smiled at Rey. "Rey, right? I've heard a lot about you, it's good to meet you." He commented standing up and holding out his hand.

Rey took it and replied, "I've heard a lot about you too Poe Dameron. BB-8 really missed you."

Poe laughed slightly, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he did, "Thank you for bringing him back to me." They both nodded at each other and then looked down at Finn, who was still unconscious. The doctors had confidence that he would wake up but they had no idea what the lasting damage would be. He might be completely fine or he might not be himself ever again. No one would know until he woke up. Poe glanced back at Rey and than ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll leave the two of you."

Rey didn't really notice his comment or respond as he walked away, her focus completely on the unconscious man before him. Poe chuckled to himself lightly and painted a smile on his face as he began to walk down the halls. He wandered the halls almost mindlessly waving and smiling at everyone who called his name, patting the backs of everyone he recognized. Everyone was still celebrating and everyone was very drunk. He just wanted to go to sleep.

He took a deep breath when he entered his room, the smile quickly dropping off his face. His cheeks hurt. They had all the reason to be smiling, to be celebrating, but for some reason he couldn't join them. Normally he would be one of the last ones awake during their celebration but right now he couldn't even gather the energy to even join them. He ran his fingers over his face, feeling the stubble of his beard and he sighed loudly. He looked up and his eyes widened.

Sitting on his table was a helmet. A stormtrooper helmet.

He hadn't thought to check here.

"Seraphine!" He shouted, quickly looking around. Why hadn't he thought to check here? It was one of the only places he knew she had been on the base. He looked around frantically until his eyes settled on a figure curled up in one of corners in the dark.

She looked so small.

Like she was a scared little child, robbed of the childhood she had never had a chance to live. He thought his life was fucked up and then he met her.

He slowly walked to the corner she was sitting and crouched down in front of her. "Seraphine?" Seraphine slowly looked up at him, her blue eyes piercing his heart. She was still covered in blood. But she was alive.

But she had said it wasn't hers. And Finn hadn't been bleeding so where had all of this blood come from? Then he remembered the helmet. Oh. He stood up suddenly, and commented "Come on, let's get you out of that armour." And get all that blood off of you. You don't need the reminder of what you did.

She didn't move. She just kept watching him silently. He reached out his arms, and after a few long awkward moments she moved to take him, pulling herself up. Even standing in front of him, she looked so small.

He wished there was something he could do. He wished there was some way that he could protect her. He wished that there was anything he could do to make it better, but he knew there was nothing he could do. People like him had signed up for this life, it was a decision they had made. But people like her were never given any other option, they never had a choice. They were forced to live the lives others decided for them and she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of this, she didn't deserve anything that had happened to her. He could see the ghosts that haunted her eyes and wanted to punch something. She didn't deserve this.

Before he knew it, he was pulling her into a tight hug. She smelled like iron, the smell of blood piercing his lungs, but she also smelled like her. She was alive. She was safe. His hand wound into what was left of her loose braids and he buried his face into her neck.

She was alive. And that was all that mattered.

At first Seraphine didn't respond. She didn't pull away, she didn't wince, she just didn't move. Slowly she moved her arms, tangling her fingers into his jumpsuit, holding tightly onto him herself.

They didn't say a word. They didn't move. They simply stood there, holding tightly onto the other acknowledging both their pain and the pain of the other. They both needed this, they needed the comfort. Not the comfort of just anyone, but the comfort of someone who understood.

Slowly Poe pulled back, pulling her towards his couch and she plopped down. She was pretty out of it, unable to really focus on anything as her eyes darted from different spots of the floor. Then her eyes focused on something directly in front of her, and she sat up, her hands clenching, putting herself in a defensive position. She was ready to keep fighting.

Poe grabbed the stormtrooper helmet, removing what she was focusing on and placed it in his closet. He closed the door, putting it out of sight and hopefully out of mind. He knew that was naive but he would take anything he could get. He walked back towards Seraphine and she relaxed slightly, but still wouldn't look at him. "Come on, Seraphine." He sighed sitting down on the table. "Seraphine, let's get you out of that armour." She didn't move and didn't acknowledge him.

Softly Poe took her hand. It was so cold. She was always so cold. Still carefully holding her hand, he reached to the bottom section of her arm's armour and found the tucked strap. Silently he removed the piece and carefully placing it behind him. He removed piece after piece of the armour, carefully watching Seraphine's face as he did. She looked like her mind was a hundred miles away, barely responding as he worked.

She did wince when he touched the strap to take her chest plate off. It was a slight wince, he almost missed it but he quickly pulled back. "Are you hurt?" He questioned worried, searching her face for any other reaction.

"Bruised." It was the first word he had heard her speak since he found her, but it was something. And he would take it. Her voice was gravely, strained, but she was alive. She was alive.

This time much more carefully, he removed the strap, and the chest plate joined all of the others. Soon, all of her amour was off leaving just the black clothes she had been wearing underneath, and the blood on her face and in her hair.

"You're going to want to take a shower." He commented softly but Seraphine didn't really respond. "Come on, get up. You'll feel better afterwards." He stood up and Seraphine frowned slightly but followed him.

Poe slowly turned on the water, waiting for it to warm up. "Okay, towels are there and uh I'll be right outside." He quickly commented, unable to look at her as he attempted to make his escape. Seraphine caught his arm as he passed and he looked back at her.

"My arms and ribs." She commented, soft enough that he almost couldn't hear her over the sound of the water.

Poe sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, knowing what she meant even though she didn't really say it. She had been braced earlier, and was obviously trying to move as little as possible. "That will make it painful for you to get your shirt off, huh." Seraphine nodded. "Would you like help?" He asked, feeling the red across his cheeks as he forced himself to try not be awkward. This shouldn't be so awkward. She needed help. He wasn't a virgin teenager. Why was he acting like it? He hated himself. He hated this. Seraphine nodded again. "Turn around."

Seraphine did, turning her back to him, and Poe quickly pushed all of the nasty thoughts down into his mind because he did not have time for them right now.

He carefully pulled her shirt over her head, trying to move her arms as little as possible, his eyes darting across all of the bruises that stood out against her tan skin. She was so skinny, he could see her ribs, and the black and blue bruises that stood against them. Her back was covered in them, her sports bra could only cover so much, her sides showed signs of impact and one of her arms was moving stiffly enough that he was wondering if it was broken. He followed the story painted by the bruises, the story of her pain and the fight, until his eyes settled on her neck. And the bruise upon it.

He reached out but she pulled away leaving his hand hanging in the air. He felt like his blood ran cold and he was frozen in time. He felt like he wasn't breathing, he felt like his heart had stopped, he wasn't moving he was stuck, frozen. He could almost make out the finger imprints, someone had had their hand wrapped around her neck. Someone had been choking her, someone had had their hands around her neck and held on tight enough that they had left bruises behind. A stormtrooper wouldn't have done that. No, it would have been Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren put his hands on her.

Kylo Ren had almost killed her.

Kylo Ren had almost taken her away from him.

Seraphine noticed he had stopped moving, and she glanced over her shoulder. She must have seen the expression on his face because she slowly took his hand and turned around. Speaking softly, because she didn't trust her throat to be capable of anything else, she whispered. 'Hey. I'm okay, you're okay. We're okay. We are both standing right here."

"He did that to you." Poe growled, his voice shaking and his mind reeling. His mind was flashing back to when Kylo Ren had warped and twisted in his own mind, picking at all of his weaknesses, weaknesses that were coming up again. He had almost lost her. He thought he lost her when he watched the planet collapse, or when she didn't come off the Falcon but he hadn't really considered it. He hadn't really thought of what would happened to him if she had died, he didn't know what he would do. He didn't know what he would do.

"I'm okay, you're okay. We're okay." Seraphine repeated, her voice straining, rubbing his hand slightly, trying to get him back on the ground.

Poe shook his head violently, he was supposed to be comforting her, he was supposed to be here for her, when did this become about him? He slowly looked up at her using his free hand to cup her cheek. What had this women had done to him? "I really thought this was a tattoo." He weakly joked, his finger run across the ruined blue streaks on her cheek that marked her as a collection agent.

Seraphine smiled slightly, "We have to be able to go undercover and take it off. It's just paint." She chucked before frowning, "Don't make me laugh, it hurts."

This caused Poe to start to laugh, and she softly joined him both wincing and regretting it as they held their bruised ribs. Hers were much more fresh, but he had a feeling she was much tougher than him anyway.

"Holy shit, we are alive." He chuckled, staring up at the ceiling. "How the fuck did that happen."

"Language." Seraphine murmured and Poe looked back down at her. Her and her blue eyes. He could feel the steam from the hot water starting to make him feel lightheaded. And looking into those damn blue eyes was really not helping. He needed to get out of here.

But right now he didn't move. He didn't move because this is where he needed to be.

"We are wasting water." Seraphine whispered, finally breaking their eye contact as her eyes darted back to the ground.

"Mhm."

"Will you stay?"

"Mhm." He didn't exactly want to be alone right now either

Seraphine turned, and dropped her tight leather pants, leaving her just in a sports bra and boxer shorts. Poe very carefully looked away, but she didn't change any more, simply stepped into the water, allowing for the beads to hit her skin. Poe leaned against his counter, struggling out of the top part on his flight suit, leaving just the black shirt underneath as he tied the sleeves around his waist.

"That really is an awful color." Seraphine commented from the shower.

"Mhm." Poe mused. The water must really be making her feel better if she is already ready to make jokes again. She just bounced back, with everything that had happened in her life, she seemed to just always bounce back. Seraphine hissed, and Peo quickly jumped up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Seraphine admitted. "It's just really hard to get this stuff out of my hair without moving my arms."

"Need help?" Poe asked softly, half hoping she wouldn't, but wanting to do whatever he could. He need to focus, he needed to be okay, he needed her to be okay. She was alive. But that's not okay. A person can only take so much pain. So much pain. She had to be in so much pain. Kylo Ren had meant so much to her before he became what he was. And he had tried to kill her. He had had his hands around her neck. He had squeezed tight enough for their to be dark bruises. He had almost killed her. He had almost taken her away from him. He.

He quickly shook his head away from his spiral when he heard her say, "um. Well, actually, that could help."

Poe took a deep breath and pushed himself off the counter, slowly opening the shower door and looked at her. She handed him the shampoo bottle she had grabbed, and Poe slowly took some and worked it into her hair. She looked so small. She was a few inches shorter than him, maybe 5'6", but that wasn't why she looked small. She had barely any fat on her body, she looked completely held together by muscle and bone. How was she so strong? Both mentally and physically, how was she still standing. Because he wouldn't be if he was her.

He slowly, helped her wash the shampoo out of her hair, running his fingers through it to make sure all of the blood was out. When he was done she slowly turned to look at him. She looked so young. She looked so innocent, he only wished he had been able to protect her from the world. He used his hand to rub the last of the blue paint of her cheek, as he looked into her eyes. She looked so tired.

He was tired. He was exhausted. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and never have to deal with any of this ever again. And she probably understood.

He was so tired.

And then he was leaning in to kiss her.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Well, we're back. Back again. Let's see how long this time lasts, lol. I promise I think about this story regularly but you know life man, life tends to get into the way. This one is a little longer but ends at an lovely point to end doesn't it. Do you hate me yet? I promise I am working on the next chapter how and will get it up, eventually. :) Thank you all for putting up with me, hugs and kisses - M_

 _Sneak Peek into Chapter Eighteen_

* * *

 _The water was dripping from his hair and drenching his shirt but he couldn't care less._

 _He didn't care about anything right now, he wasn't think about anything at all._

 _All he was thinking about was her._

 _All he cared about was her._

 _And she was right here with him._

 _Giving him the only taste of heaven that he would ever get._

 _And he didn't think he even deserved it._


End file.
